being who i am

My New HAPPY Life

2010-11-09T09:58:00.008+08:00

Hello Hello my neglected blog.. I hope you miss me~

Guess what?? My so-called "best friend" took the guy I was so into from me. Yes, I'm talking abt the guy in the previous blog.

What happened?

Well, I was just so into him but I didn't know how to tell him, instead, I started to get him to hang out with me and my friends. The next thing I know, my friend slept with him the day after we hung out.. I'm mad at her and I still am. She is not my friend anymore. I don't think I can ever forgive her, especially after he told me he had got STI from her. Well, he regrets it but hey you chose to do it yeah, so man up and face the consequence.

Honestly, they are now no more a part of my life. I have my happiness.. And no I don't need a man to keep me happy although sometimes, a girl do feel the loneliness coming into her.

In August, I had the greatest birthday ever. It was my 20th and my friend from uni had this huge birthday bash planned. He worked closely with the uni admin staff members and he got DJs and what not. He combined my birthday party with the uni's freshman's party. It was just so so awesome. He knew everything I was going through, all the sadness, so he just wanted to see me smile and I think it's just the sweetest thing ever..

This is the guy who threw me the best birthday party ever. That girl behind him is ME ehehhehe~

I invited my back-stabbing friend and she made a fuss about coming to my party just for friendship sake yet she complained heaps, so I just told her to fuck off from my party. Let's face it, her birthday is just a day before mine and every one at uni know how we used to combine our parties in the previous years. I also invited the guy I used to like who is now my ex-bff's bf and he had a bunch of excuses for not being able to attend so I just told him to shut it. :)

Well, in one month I shall graduate and I'm so looking forward to it. I've got other worries now, instead of only men. Life just keeps getting better.

Remember people, when life gives you shit, that shit will one day lead you to a better life

Me and my Barbie ice-cream cake during my 20th

Oh and btw, my ex attended my MASSIVE 20th as a friend and that was just sweet too..

If I'm not mistaken, these bois were singing me a birthday song on the PA system :D

personally...

2010-07-01T12:52:00.002+08:00

all men are dicks. no offends to the guys reading this but to sum it all up, they are dicks. big time dicks! i've had too much experience with them and to be honest, i've had enuf of them. period.

my BIG mistake

2010-04-14T17:04:00.002+08:00

I'm over my past. I don't wanna let my past haunt my memories. Therefore, it's time to move on. Yes, I still do think back of what it was like when we were together. But truth to be told, it's a dead relationship. I don't think I can ever trust him again but I would like to keep him as a close friend. And yes, I do care about him a lot but it's nothing more than a friendship.

I've found myself someone new. But then, I made a huge mistake. We got so close that he now sees me as a friend he can share all his secrets with. I took the wrong steps. Everyone knows how huge a crush I have on him. According to many as well, he seems hotter than the previous one. He likes how matured I can be when someone needs a friend to talk to. He does have issues that he is dealing with but he doesn't open up to many. I'm probably one of the 2 or 3 people he talks to about his problems and his feelings about everything that's happening around him.

I, myself, on the other hand, do not have the guts to approach him and come clean. It's the fear of rejection. I know how he looks at me as a friend so most likely that's how it's gonna stay between us.

I fell completely for the way he made me laugh the first time we met. After my breakup, I don't think I have ever laughed in a way so natural and so happy that I don't have to fake anything. We're getting closer and closer. Though we just met 2 or 3 months back, he is now closer to me than he is to his mates of which he has known for years. However, there's always an obstacle in everything in life. It's personal. But it's mainly because of that as well that is keeping us from being more than just good friends.

crying my heart out

2009-10-20T15:17:00.002+08:00

you made me cry
u brought me into this situation
it's all your fucking fault
i hate you
my life was so happy before i met you and u had to come in and ruin it
u're nothing more than an arrogant bastard; a selfish, self-centred arrogant bastard
to hell with u and all your lies
i'm sick of it and i'm not taking it anymore
u dont deserve me; i'm too good for u
one thing i'm sure of, i deserve a better civilized guy and he's out there waiting for me!
deep down my heart, this is how i feel abt u right now
i'm writitng this so everyone will know what kind of person u are

wehee~

2009-10-14T09:54:00.002+08:00

Whatta long day I've had. Slept for like 3 hours last night and been surviving on V energy drink for the past 2 days. But heck, check out the website below, babe. Hahahaha I won the photo competition yo~

click away

single me

2009-10-11T21:55:00.003+08:00

Heya guys,

How's it going? Life's been superbly hectic for me lately.

First, mid term is finally over. Gosh what a relief! I almost turned into a nerd.

Secondly, I had THREE 19th celebrations. Yeah, you read that right - THREE! Why three? I just felt like it.

Thirdly, apparently, not only is mid term over, my relationship's over too. I wasn't taking the break up too well but then with the support and encouragement from all my lovely friends out there, I manage to live my life as usual and keep going on. You guys are great. I don't know how I would be if it wasn't for all you peeps. I love you guys to death! Having friends like you guys is such a blessing.

Fourthly, the weather here in NZ has been misbehaving lately. All the wind storms and sudden snow really brought things up-side-down. The winds were recorded going at 80km/h. Some spring I'm having here.

Now, this has to be the best news ever.... Dudes, I'm coming back home! Whee~ Nahh not forever but for like a month. I so can't wait to see everyone I love again. It's been a year. Damn how did I survive?? Also, I can cook! Yes, I can. Goddamn I cook real good food. Guess that's what happens when I get sent away from home 20 days before turning 18~

Just in case y'all forgot how I look like, here's a pic of me currently :)

Oh and hey, happy moon cake festival youse. Seriously, I finally managed to find a shop that sells moon cakes. Shit yeah. The lady is a grumpy old granny-like Chinese woman who makes these stuff herself I suppose. She's always frowning she's got all those ugly wrinkles all over her face. Yuck. Smile, bitch! Oh who gives a shit. I have a choice of like only 5 different moon cakes to choose from and one moon cake costs like RM17. That's the shit man. I'm like living in heaven...

Yeah right!

i love shopping

2009-09-24T14:45:00.002+08:00

Alright guys,

Listen up. Here's the deal. I don't have time to update my blog. So as a treat, I added more links to my fashion mania section for all you girls who love shopping. Those places are where I shop. So for all you people who worship me and dread to be like me, start shopping like I do OK.

Do the right thing and start shopping!

Malaysia v NZ

2009-08-29T13:21:00.002+08:00

While the Malaysian Prime Minister is interviewed during massive conferences where all the paparazzi is around and all the tight security and the national media surrounding them with all pressure on the Prime Minister as everything he says or does will have an immediate affect on the public and immediately be published in the national newspaper, here in NZ, the Prime Minister is interviewed while literally fishing with his son in Rotorua??

Oh look, his son just caught a fish and everyone is so proud.

Ok ok I'm watching it live right now and his son is still young - that's why everyone is so proud of him.

Why is it so relaxed over here?? The Prime Minister is talking abt NZ and the FTA treaty signed between Malaysia, Indonesian and the Philippines last year and suddenly the topic changes to abt fishing? ISH!!

I know u ppl must be going "what the hell is FTA?"

Well FTA stands for Free Trade Agreement and yes, it's always an opportunity to sign a FTA treaty with countries such as Malaysia, Indonesia, China and Indonesia. Looking from a business point of view, these Asian countries are amongst the most stable Asian countries and have heaps to offer :)

It's my duty to know as a business student

from Malaysia to New Zealand

2009-08-18T19:41:00.002+08:00

Moments ago, I got a phone call from my darling mum. We were chatting as girls do. She took my lil sister Nisha out and gave me a call from where she was. As cheeky as can be, Nisha went out of sight. Mummy got worried but seriously, I could still hear Nisha screaming and laughing in the background. While searching for Nisha and on the phone with me at the same time, mummy was like "Where is Nisha?". Seriously! Mum, I'm all the way near the South Pole! Like hello?? So I took a wild guess "Lemme think, in Malaysia maybe?" and mum was like "No" whoa wait a minute did mummy subtly sneak out of Malaysia? Then she went "We're at the jetty".

"Mummy!!! You're all the way in Malaysia and you're asking me where Nisha is? What? I control the satellite and track everything you do or something?"

That was all I had to say to her. Seriously, she makes me laugh. She doesn't have to try. She's just funny the way she is.

DJ General Lee

2009-07-18T10:38:00.002+08:00

Thursday Uni Night
DJ General Lee
and
Palmerston North resident DJ

It was so kewl. Malbas had invited guest DJs. They completely changed the interior for that night. The club was packed as hell. The heat was intensed. and...God the music was insane. I loved it so much! The whole bunch of IPC's suckers for parties were there. And that includes me. Godamn he was good, that DJ General Lee. He does dj-ing for MOS. He's got awesome remixes. I can't remember when was the last I so refused to leave the club. Everyone was crazy.

Although it was a Thursday night, I still managed to go to my 9am class on Friday morning.

cunts

2009-06-27T10:10:00.004+08:00

sick of all the shit happening around me. everyone can go fuck themselves hard. all the people who tries to control my life; telling me what to do or who i should be. in my opinion, my life was perfectly fine but you people just have to make it miserable! all u should go get ur own shit sorted first. i know me. i know what i want. stop being fake! fucking leave me alone. now that you've fucked things up for me, just shut the fuck up and let me do things my way. my decisions are made upon what's best for me. you know nothing!

fuck the motherfucking internet at IPC! it's fucking bullshit. why the fuck should i fucking pay for the shit internet when i haven't been able to use it for 3 fucking weeks? the whole world's after money. everyone's fake.

fuck!

R.I.P MJ

2009-06-26T06:58:00.002+08:00

Moment of silence

R.I.P. Michael Joseph Jackson

August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

This guy.. made some funky beats!

Today in law class, students received text from admin staff regarding the passing of MJ. Immediately, all of us started surfing the net to see if it was true!

Sad....

facka

2009-06-12T21:35:00.002+08:00

It's not what u think. I'm swearing.

Sheesh you judgmental people!! LOL

I was watching the Maori news. Don't ask me why but I was. It was all about the Maori peoples' thingy. Then I noticed they kept saying 'facka'...'facka'....'facka' in every sentence. As usual, my brain is always switched off so I didn't quite notice until my brain finally woke up.

That's when I swore.

What the fuck!!!

I was like why the fuck do these people keep saying 'fucker'?? It made me feel a lil uneasy.

Oh well, in Maori language, wh is pronounced as f. So what I'm trying to say is those innocent people were saying something else but I was thinking something else.

In conclusion...

Mount Whakapapa = Mount Fackapapa. Sounds a lil like FUCKER-PAPA

sweet aye

lonely

2009-06-10T08:33:00.003+08:00

While the whole family's on vacation in Asia, I'm fucking stuck in NZ! I wanted to join them but I couldn't. Here I am sitting in my bed. How pathetic is that? Fuck I can't wait to go home!

Still loving my life.

Uh, instead of my posh Asian holiday, I get to go to Napier for the day. Ha-ha.

Sheesh!

awesome~

2009-05-31T17:49:00.002+08:00

yeah yeah (so Malaysian) :P

Palmerston North a.k.a. Palmy hasn't been snowing for a few decades now My dearest Kusai told me that he heard rumors going around saying that there might be snow in certain parts of Palmy this year but it won't happen often, just occasionally. But I thought it was bull looking at the affect of Greenhouse warming. But guess what? He was right! It was bloody snowing this evening.. Wuhuuu~

It sounds like good news to me. Although the earth is getting warmer and warmer, Palmy gets snow? Awkward awesomeness!

Second awesome thing happened today: I surfed the net checking out the IPC website looking for updates. Remember how a few posts ago I said I'm the official photographer for IPC now? Well, here's an article containing of pics snapped by me alone. uh yeah! It's always been pics snapped by the head photographer and me that's being posted but this time it's solely snapped by me! wehee~

click here

Just when I thought things are about to get nasty, it just gets better :)

I love my life!

home

2009-05-30T14:35:00.002+08:00

I just wanna go home. Came back to NZ 18th of Jan 09. Since then, I haven't been home. Only got to see dad and spend time with him in Melbourne. All I wanna do is just go home, don't give a shit about anything else and spend some time with my family. I miss them I love them. I wanna be with them.

It's true; there's no where like home.. :(

Law

2009-05-12T07:37:00.003+08:00

can House of Lord's decisions contradict King's Bench Division's decisions? (8 marks)

my answer: no, because King's Bench Division is the highest court therefore House of Lord must go by the decisions (and half a page long explanation)

lecturer's answer: yes, because House of Lord is the highest court (and million lines of explanation)

marks obtained: 0

it wouldnt have made any difference me going for the test and not going.

what to wear for General Assembly. need to bloody give a speech introducing myself as the new representative. dammit!

i have another 3million assignments to hand in before Friday. shit

life's fabulous

2009-05-12T07:00:00.005+08:00

it is not easy being a...

full-time degree student,
writing assistant,
uni's official photographer (second to Emu coz she's the head) and
Malaysian representative for uni in Student Association

first of all, I start my classes at 9am and finish at 3.20pm with only 30 mins break for lunch. queuing up for food during lunch break takes like 15 mins and I only have 15 mins in hand to eat my food and be ware to not choke on it. all that time (9am-3.20pm) just to study two and a half subjects!

after class I have to carry out my duty as a Writing Assistant. what is it? I help student from non-English speaking countries help improve their English and guide them with their assignments. it goes on for minimum 2 hours on Mondays and Thursdays . the longest I've taken to help a student is like 4 or 5 hours. no, it's not a punishment it's what every international university provides because they have people coming from all over the world.

when I have time off, I get sent to places to snap photographs of events. those pictures appear in my uni's official website. sadly, none of my face :(

a couple of days ago, I got the position of the Malaysian representative. in other words, I as a person represent all the Malaysian students studying here. voicing out their thoughts and at the same time helping students from other countries (if they need help). sort of like help make IPC more favourable to all students studying here because rules over here are shit tight! looking at it, I'm the youngest of all Malaysians in IPC.. probably even the youngest of all representatives!!

oh well, I never said it's easy being me :) but my life is fabulous anyway I look at it

swine flu: joke or no joke

2009-04-30T12:32:00.006+08:00

i dont know. u tell me.. but one thing i know is i'm not going clubbing anytime soon. nahhk my life's too precious. some people say there are cases here in Palmy some say confirmed cases are only in Auckland. yesterday i received an email saying there are no confirmed cases regarding swine flu in NZ.

i guess those people were just trying to keep us calm. read the news online and there are 11 confirmed cases so far in Auckland and there just might be more. a bunch of students from Rangitoto College went over to Mexico for a 3-week trip.

a guy in Auckland was on the flight contaminated by the virus and he wasn't aware at all until 48 hours after landing in Auckland. while he was unaware, he happily went around doing stuff he normally does; shopping, going out and things like that. so yea, it's spreading like wild fire. a few IPC students were quarantined coz they were said to have swine flu but they are free from quarantine now.

i honestly do not know what is going on. all i know is, i'm not going to have any too close contact with Kusai (a Malaysian guy here). today he came to class feeling terribly sick. and i'm not even gonna go near Stephen (a French guy). he came to class today with a sore throat. pfft what am i talking about? i was happily sitting in between Kusai and Stephen in class. :)

it's ok Kusai and Stephen, i know u guys are all good.

there's no vaccine to this virus but there is a drug for it; Oseltamivir (Tamiflu) and zanamivirRelenza). and one last thing, it's safe to keep eating pork. so yea, i'm lucky! confirmed cases of swine flu are in Mexico (origin), United States, Canada, France and New Zealand. Indian government told their citizens not to travel to this part of the world and other affected countries. Indians returning from these countries are to undergo and check at the airport itself upon landing.

poor Ronald. he's an IPC student from Indonesia. he spent his summer hols in California to be with his gf. he's supposed to be back by this week for Term 1. but NZ doesnt want him back. he has 2 options now; to stay in CA or to go back to Indonesia and undergo his quarantine.

nasty turned ok

2009-04-25T09:22:00.003+08:00

Ed's back today. whee~ i'm so happy at least a Malaysian girl here with me now..now all us Malaysians are back together again.

my day started good seeing Ed again. i really missed her. but then I discovered my day just became totally nasty and heartbreaking. I dont wanna blog about it. it's too hurting. I love my friends for always being here for me whenever I need them. our friendship should last for a lifetime. my friends are like my family; not only my friends here in NZ but also my friends back home. they see me through my hard days and are always here with me when i shed my tears.

but I tried cheering myself up. crying doesnt solve anything.

here's something I thought does do a lil help in cheering me up. I found my name listed among the Malaysian Queen Guides. my name seriously appeared in the official website.

Malaysian Queen Guides

notice the 'cawangan' column. there are no Queen Guides from Perak until year 2008. proud i lifted the Perak's Girl Guide Association name again but it's sickening that the Perak state Girl Guide Association never appreciated my hard work. I went through so much pain; physical pain from days of working under the blazing sun or the heavy rain pitching tents and building gadgets and mental pain from all the harsh words that were thrown at me and all the emotional pain from those bitches who never cared about how I felt.

I worked so bloody hard to f*cking lift the name of the state just so they don't lose their face but I guess this world is filled with ungrateful people. all they can do is point out one's weak points but never even once consider the number of good points that individual has. not only am I talking about the Girl Guide Association but also they many people who live around me. though I must say I have the best knotting in Perak and one of the top knotting skills among Girl Guides of Malaysia and I am very proud of it. how do I know this fact? well, I was at an international Girl Guide camp in Sabah and there were Girl Guides from all over the world and we have trained instructors and the judges announced the best knotting was by Melissa Tyndall. beat that losers

to my opinion, these people are nothing but pathetic losers and they should learn to get a life. and i'm referring to all u haters.

Back to School

2009-04-23T12:38:00.006+08:00

Easter hols? over.. well at least I didn't have any pathetic Easter break. i had a pretty posh one instead. spent 80% of my break 'Down Under'. i'm bloody sure u ppl must be like 'what the hell is she talking abt?'. ok ok 'Down Under' is just another name for Aus. then it occurs if Aus is Down under, what is NZ? lemme tell u guys, NZ is so far away from the rest of the world that people sometimes forget we even exist! well at least thats how i feel. but no difference from Malaysia anyways. Malaysia is such a bloody small country located between Thailand and Singapore that there are many people out there in this 'getting' small world tend to forget there's a piece of land there between Singapore and Thailand. why oh why do people know Singapore exists and not Malaysia? I mean Singapore is just double the size of Pangkor Island! how do i know people dont know Malaysia exists? well that's coz I've had people asking me where the hell is Malaysia even here in NZ!

Anyways it's study time again. no more hols, no more play play, no more sleeping all day keeping awake all night. *sigh* Australia was good stuff aye. I just love that place but not their residence. sorry just being straight forward. I've never been treated correctly ever whenever I go to Aus and that is like so very often coz I always drop by in Aus on my way home to Malaysia or back to NZ. went shopping heaps over there with daddy. I'm so glad I got to spend some time with him. it meant a lot to me. it's miserable living alone. best part of Aus? the kangaroos. but beware those creatures are vicious! they are greedy!!!! so are the koalas. they are so confident they are cute that they dont give a damn about us coz we are not as cute as them. damn i wonder why we love them?

and btw, Melbourne was like as if I was in HK (no not Hell's Kitchen, I mean Hong Kong). its modern and busy like a 100 times busier than KL but the problem is I had to go search for the Aussies coz all I see are foreigners. I was like where the hell did the Aussies disappear to? luckily Palmy isnt that bad. we still see a fair number of Kiwis around. honestly, it was scary for me seeing so many unexpected Asians and many kampung Malaysians there too.

i also found the love of my life there. his name is Bheem! oh he's the second cutest thing alive! the first is 'that person knows'. he loves me just as much as i love him. we're meant to be together! all the other men were so jealous coz i paid all my attention to Bheem..

and we click very well too.. :)

Australia, here I come!

2009-03-30T10:08:00.003+08:00

Nasi goreng vs fried rice

there's no difference between the two. but to some people, there's a huge difference. God stab me now. it's a headache explaining that it's the complete same thing. Kiwi ppl... pfft

anyways..

i'm leaving for OZ in 2 days babeh! weheee~

what am i doing? hmm.. buying chocolates for home. wish i could just fly home instead. ish i miss my Malaysia.

all finals over. hope all is good but i just need to get out and allow my mind to have some rest.

kiss kiss kiss

2009-03-17T13:26:00.007+08:00

Beyonce - Diva

2009-03-17T11:59:00.003+08:00

I Am... Sasha Fierce

it's an album not to miss. it's sort of like the new iPod touch. if you dont have it, ur slow. yeah, i'm talking about myself coz i have none of those.

moving on..

she's got awesome song in that album. catchy tunes that never gets off ur head and everywhere u go, u hear ppl either playing or singing her songs. good stuff.

it's a plus too that she has a hot body and good looks.

but somehow, there always is something that has to make good stuff look bad at some point. try listening to all her hit songs in a row and watch all the video clips for it.

realise how 'If I Were A Boy' was in black and white and how she was all about a guy. then watch 'Halo'. realise how it was 99% black and white and she was all about a guy too. it also seems that in that video, life was all dull.

now watch 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It). it was all about ballet and tight swimsuit like outfit but i love that song so much. the tune is simply catchy and the dance is pathetically fun watching. compare that song to 'Diva'. she tried to do the same dance. as a matter of fact, it appears to my eyes she's got the same dancers in both the songs. though, she did try to dress a whee bit like Lady Gaga in that song; those senseless glasses and the over sized shoulder pads and sky high heels.

ok once u've got ur imagination right, now picture the dance moves of 'Halo' and 'Single Ladies'. it's all ballet. yea lady, i know u have a smoking hot body and damn funky moves but oh dont show it all off in one album!

honestly, i dont know how i came up with such conclusions. only a lonely chick in NZ with nothing better to do will be able to think of such stuff.

oh well...

Friday the 13th

2009-03-14T20:06:00.003+08:00

it was one hellova day i tell u. first of all, i woke up early to finish my assignment of which i saved in one of IPC's iMAC.because i had an appointment with the doctor that morning and i had to skip class for my appointment, i decided to be a good girl and do my work ontime for once. however, when i got to the computer lab, i logged into my student profile and tried to access my file, i could get nothing. us students have individual profiles in IPC and no one but ourselves can access our profiles. i seeked help from IT support. he could retrieve all missing files except mine. bloody hell assignment as due that day itself and i was almost done!

so i went to the doctor's. after my first appointment i had to make another for later that day. after my second appointment i had to go into town to submit a form. i had to postpone my town trip coz i honestly wanted to hand in my assignment. so i took information of Amanda. goodness me she got her info bungled up! i was stuck. then IPC internet was completely shut coz they were installing a new wifi programme. due to that, i cant access the net neither can i print out anything coz IPC's fully dependent on their wireless connection.

after i got the assignment done, there was the IPC Summer BBQ party. our very own malaysian mix band was performing. so i showed them full support. cheered for them and sang along to the songs. but little did i notice i was singing at the top of my voice and i was the only one singing coz everyone else were eating.

then there was the $1 drinks hour. i went to get 5 bottles. shit went i went to our IPC Bar, they had run out of everything!

and that night i wanted to go into town clubbing and i did.just as we got into town, we had to head back home to IPC because of some shit things happening so we did and my friends and I chilled in my room.

at last we got hungry and went back into town to get a kebab each. one of my friends asked my favour to buy a kebab. lazy ass. so i did. and i was holding 2 gigantic kebabs in my arms. just as i reached IPC, the kebab sauces dripped all over my jacket. like my >RM200 jacket from Malaysia!!

and then we girls decided to stay up all night and wait for breakfast in dining. at 5am, i decided to go for a walk. the temperature was like 0 degree Celsius. omg its just the end of summer man. what's gonna happen during winter?!

so we sneaked into dining via the back door. the chef was preparing breakfast. he felt sad for us and switched on all the lights and the brand new flat screen tv in the dining for us. we played the game machines there and got too damn tired and slept on the dining sofas.

that was how my Friday the 13th went. interesting wasnt it.

my sweet Valentine..

2009-03-03T11:25:00.004+08:00

oh how can i have forgotten?

my sweet as Valentine

so on the 14th of February 2009, i went out with this special person. we went cruising and did so much shit together. it was rocking!

kinda just 2-person thing but i enjoyed it especially our Valentine's Day party!

that's not enough

a week after V-Day, IPC had a V-Day party; 'One Night of Romance'

it's the craziest IPC party so far. need to see the pics? get onto my facebook. (just click on it)

it has all the pics in there. have fun guys. i love y'all!

RM 10 000 operation

2009-03-03T10:52:00.009+08:00

hey y'all!

i miss Malaysia as hell. exactly a month from now, i'll be cruising around in Australia enjoying how much i dislike the ppl there but it's all good. just for an update, i'll be having hols but since flight ticket to Malaysia costs a bomb over here, i've decided to make use of the money to go to Australia. what am i gonna do there? no idea. but that's not important. i'm going alone and i haven't even arranged accommodation :)

anyways, i'm having a crisis. and it costs me RM10 000. so the thing is i need to get an operation done. i can't tell how much longer i can wait before i die (no i'm actually dying but it's somewhat a metaphor)

so yea, if i do it right now here in NZ, it costs me RM 10 000 coz anything to do with medical shit and equipment is always expensive. but if i go back to Malaysia, i can do it for a few hundreds ranging to a few thousands ringgit. however, taking into account flight tickets will come up to RM 10 000 too.

but the benefits of doing it in Malaysia is that after my operation, i have my family to take care of me. if i do it here, i have to manage on my own. still there are consequences, if i do it in Malaysia, i'll have to wait to like sometime end of this year if i even head home end of this year. things can really get shitty when ur living all alone in a deserted country. will i ever be able to survive until i go back to Malaysia or do it here?

honestly, i must say, all my blog updates are getting really interesting. hmm...

earlier today i had to do my business presentation although i was so sick. and after presentation i was telling my Brazilian and Vietnamese classmate how i fucked presentation and u know what the Brazilian said to the Vietnamese?

"hey take it easy on her man. she's dying here" omg wtf i know u guys care abt me but dont be so blunt!

not enough, last night i was partying in my room with my Russian and Latino chick friends, and the Russian and i were talking like such fools and the Latino had the time of her life laughing.

here's how it went.

Maria: hey u know we met a very cute Brazilian guy. He's from Brazil.

Melissa: omg! really?

i mean, doesnt Brazilian mean he's from Brazil. why did Maria have to explain where he's from and i honestly dumbly answered 'really?' as if Brazilians are not from Brazil

after a few hours

Maria: he's let's go to the gas station and get some drinks.

Melissa: uummmm ok let's go to the gas station. but wait, what's there at the gas station?

Maria: the gas station has *this is where she thinks really hard*.... gas.

Melissa: but i thought they had drinks there!

ok how stupid can we get? it's excusable coz all those conversations happened at like 3am or so :)

bastards

2009-02-02T07:45:00.002+08:00

bloody leave me alone will you! all i hear is melissa this melissa that. cant u stop being such a pain in the neck.

oh melissa u have to do this. ur missing out on that. why didnt u do it? like wtf! i need a life too. i dont wanna live my life like you. i like my life colourful not sad and miserable like yours.

damn i hate assholes!

fuck off! shit im pissed off. thanks for spoiling my day

food lover

2009-01-19T18:11:00.005+08:00

the previous blog was simply pure confession. it really wasnt a joke but oh well, that's life. sometimes, we humans just reach breaking point. it's just how we handle it.

anyway, while i was busy stuffing myself with cheese and crackers..... oh wait, i dont think cheese and crackers are a really popular thing in Malaysia so lemme show u guys how it looks like.

but obviously i have such good taste in food, i dont use any ordinary cheese neither do i use smoked cheese or cheddar cheese or feta or whatsoever, i use the ever tasty cheese with mould. uh-huh... mould; that eeky fungi. it sounds disgusting but it's super yummy!

yeap. Rosenborg's the brand. it's Canadian cheese. ;)

u guys must try it one day.

let's get to the point. i was having cheese and cracker and topped it with cream cheese; increasing my stored calories and suddenly i saw the Tegel ad in TV. Tegel is NZ's fave chicken brand. it's like the tastiest of the tastiest but on x'mas day, something happened. see, Tegel in deep shit now. one of Tegel's customer bought a whole chicken to roast. she was about to put it in the oven. over here, everything's so clean, u dont have to wash the chicken before cooking it. it's marinated and all and all u do is cook it right away. so that was what the lady was doing till she noticed the neck still on. then she cut it open and to try to get rid of the neck and she found like undigested food in the tummy and all the eeky stuff. YUCK! so yea,as a food lover, there's no way i'm buying Tegel anymore. :(

keep up to their mark. so look how yummy it looks in it's package even before it's cooked. unfortunately, they just didntTegel's going way down now. uh-oh not good ay.

watching Seinfeld. will never miss it...

suicide

2009-01-19T07:10:00.001+08:00

this is no joke. i was so miserable. just felt like life should end.

was chatting with my sis. sis, i'm sorry i was so cold. just felt really useless.

so instead of being miserable and dying, i thought i'll just go out and get some fresh air. the next thing i knew, i found myself in the supermarket buying cream cheese, mould cheese and wafer cracker. well, here i am indulging myself with cracker and cheese.

how can i not put on weight?

wait... i'm doing comfort eating. shit something's not right

damn

shit

2009-01-08T01:11:00.003+08:00

shit seems to be my fave word nowadays.

here i am; blogging. will be leaving in approximately 17hours from now. it feels as if life's coming to a standstill. i thought that i wont feel as bad as i did when i first left but i'm wrong. as a matter-of-fact, it feels as if my whole life's just hanging by a thread. it's crashing.

i've been getting some many 'goodbye' msgs now. to be honest, i hope the plane just disappears from the airport and then there'll be an announcement saying there'll be a 3-month delay so i can skip the whole bloody summer term. what's making things worse are friends over there in ipc asking me when i'll be back. it's like a two-way thing. and it's just adding spice into my feelings. shit why do i have to be so caught up?

my bags are packed but when i look at them, i feel like throwing them so far i'll never see them again. why do i have to go so far? more like why does it bloody take days to friggin reach home from nz? i'm talking taking 32hrs to get from ipc to singapore. how much more shitty can things get? one part of me wants to be there and the other part of me wants to be here. i'm torn in between. i bet many of u guys out there will go like "and yet another stupid blabber from melissa" after reading this blog. just wait till u get in my position and then speak for yourself.

i have a feeling i'm gonna lecture to nobody in my blog if i keep typing. i better shoo myself off. but i need to conclude something. when things go so bad and there aint nothing you can do about it, just take a deep breath and say SHIT then pull a 'i-dont-care' sort of face just like what i do. why? because there's no point saying anything!

update

2008-12-30T14:13:00.002+08:00

hello my abandoned blog. lol

i've been super busy since i got home and so kinda abandoned my blog. but no fear, here i am blogging again.

x'mas eve was a nightmare for me but x'mas day was great. it's like the whole world was so happening within that 24 hours. i had a great time with Agnes. she's such a sweetheart to be taking me around and meeting new people who turned out to be old friends; an old long-lost friend. i even met some cute guys. well, not all were cute but some were hahahaha and so did Agnes. i dont mean she's the cute guy. what i meant was she met a cute guy lol

the stupid thing is my maid spoilt my cream and black dress. that's a dress by a NZ designer! i wonder where she dumps her brain. when i asked her what she did to it and i was mad at her and i bet she realize coz i raised my voice at her but i guess she's just too stupid and she thought i was joking. shesh! enough of her. i feel like i can stab here.

well, here i am sitting and blogging and feeling lonely. was chatting to Kalai like 10 mins ago. was telling how hopeless of a friend he is and he said he'll try to make it up to me. he might come over to Singapore to see me off. i was so like wtf! he's so sweet. now all i need is a confirmation ok Kalai? dont break my heart..

i'm off. bye ppl!

22 hours

2008-12-06T13:35:00.002+08:00

lemme tell you all a story.

yesterday, i drove down to KL. well not exactly KL but Malaysians call it KL so be it.i went from Sitiawan to Subang to PJ and back to Subang and then to KJ then back home. i was driving continuously for 19hrs. how sweet is that? was awake for 22hrs that day. even sweeter. bloody city drivers are pure idiots. one lane becomes three or the max 4. shit! i'm a Sitiawan driver not a city driver. i use my brain and my body coordinates with my brain when i drive unlike the city drivers who drive with their brains not functioning. pfft!

i'm was so angry.

but i'm calm now. i'm glad i made to KL and back safely. i'm proud of myself. very few girls out there my age has the ability to do all the things i've done in life. my body's still suffering from all the long-distance travelling and i still havent got my beauty sleep yet i'm carrying on with my daily activities like an ordinary person. lucky thing i'm not like some pathetic people who seeks for sympathy everyday.

oh wait. i just realised i'm not done here. city drivers are so aggressive, when i was driving on the Federal Highway, me being kind was bloody pushed to the emergency lane. i was driving on the emergency lane! wtf! not enough, when i was getting out of Sunway City to go into KJ, i was driving on a no-lane lane. i mean, there were two lanes. i was on the right lane trying to cut into the left lane. after a while i found myself driving in the middle of both lanes. there were cars on my right and on my left and i created my own lane. to add more spice into my journey, it rained like hell for a while when i was in the city and some bloody idiot just cut in front of my car when i was driving on the 'Penang Bridge' of KL which nearly caused a chain accident. sweeter more, it was raining cats and dogs on the way home. the bloody roads had no street lights neither did it have any middle lines dividing the road neither did the road not have any pot-holes! damn

upon reaching home

2008-12-04T21:00:00.005+08:00

it's been crazy as hell here since i got home. reached Sitiawan at 7am on Monday (1st Dec). right when mum picked me up, i went out to do some stuff with her then we went out for breakfast. went home, talked to dad and kept on talking until it was time for him to go to the office so i drove him as i used to before i left. after leaving him, i had to do some stuff at home and tried to settle down. slept for abt 4 hrs that day and then was busy since. it's deadly. i havent had the sleep i've been dreading for for nearly a month now; with all the preperation for finals and coming home and now that i'm hone, there's just so much to do.

but it's hard for me to say no when my parents ask me to do something for them. they've done so much for me. they work so hard to send me oversea. all these small help i'm giving them is nothing compared to what they've done for me in my life.

i travelled for 32hrs from my coll to Singapore, spent a night there and then 10 hrs in the bus to Sitiawan. how tiring. i hope i can get my beauty sleep tonight before i drive down to KL tomorrow. am making a one-day trip to KL tomorrow as dad has some stuff to do and i agreed to take him down and he asked me to take him to several places as he want to kill several birds with one stone. even driving is a killer. with the number of cars we have at home, changing cars every now and then is just so confusing. different cars work differently and when one is in a rush, one just gets confused and that's exactly whats happening to me. what's worse is with the difference in manual and auto cars. how shitty. my legs have been killing me since i left coll with the travelling and rushing in the airports and my bloody heavy luggage.

to all my friends, i really wanna meet up with u guys in KL but time doesnt seem to allow me to. i feel really bad. i miss u guys to bits! but no worries. super melissa will find a solution to it. time is running out. i only have so few days here in Malaysia to do so many things. shit. i plan to spend a few days seeing Singapore before flying off to Nz again but i want to spend most of my time with those close to my heart. it's simply dramatic.

my 100th

2008-11-19T18:02:00.006+08:00

wow it's my 100th post. didnt realize that. would wanna make this post special.

hmm... lemme see.. what should i talk about?

probably him.

i know i know

'probably who?'

well, him, Adam.

people, i officially like someone. yes, it's the first person i like. not sure if he likes me tho. so it's unusual coz normally it's the guys who asks me out but this time it's me asking a guy out.

no, not literally 'would u go out with me?' but indirectly yes.

i know he isnt the cutest guy in NZ but to my eyes, he is. like all my friends are telling me when i tell them he isnt actually cute. they keep sayin 'so what mel? who cares? love is blind'

i wouldnt call it love at this stage. it's a word too strong.

about 2 weeks ago, i met this guy at his work place. first it was normal like manager-customer sort of thing. then it expended to being a special customer. and it lead to me asking him: i was wondering, do u wanna hang out some time?

i got a YES on the spot and we swapped numbers and instead of me start texting him, he started it and have been texting daily ever since.

went out clubbing with him last fri but it wasnt exactly the right time. first, mum called at about 1am. not a big deal coz i told her i was out partying with my friends. then when i went to the club, it was like 50% of the crowd were IPC students. not enough, they were so bloody drunk, it's not exactly the kind of 'first impression' i wanna give him but heck what's done has been done.

i just hope it works out for the two of us. he's a really nice guy. i asked my friends about what i should do next and the guys keep telling me to hang on to it. dont make any move or he'll get the wrong idea of me. i trust them. so i'll just wait and pray and hope u guys (my friends) pray for me too. :)

boobs on bikes

2008-11-11T07:35:00.005+08:00

NZ is a crazy country to live in i tell you. the whole of last week was all about sex. that's right; it was 'sex week' last week. up north in Auckland, we had this porn star promo where the country's top porn stars had performances. porno performances. exposures of boobies and dickies. they even had the variety of dildos on display and for sale. and all sorts of se costumes. it was mainly based on the olden-day theme where people used to dress gladiator style. it was pretty kinky if u ask me. we even had some American porn stars fly into the country for the sex week. all these porn stars performed strip dances, pole dancing and other horny acts. and the best part, there were many elderly people among the audiences. not only elderly men but also women. fun ay. and those elderly people even went for the sex toys sale.

that's not all..

down south in Wellington, we had this 'boobs on bikes' parade. it sound just like what the title suggests. there were men riding what looks like Harleys and their passengers were women. not necessarily hot and skinny. they were women of all kind. all u gotta do to be on the back of the bike was expose ur boobies. so the men will ride around the town with the naked girls. i dont know why exactly. there even were old women standing naked. their boobies were like at their waists. dayum did i get a shocker!

NZ even had this naked lawn-mower promo. naked men and women will stand in a row and they have to do this lawn-mower race. no they're not mowing the lawn. they're just having some grown-up fun. they had to push the lawn mover in a straight line until the finish line. not walking but running. and when i say naked, i mean naked. like not a single strand of cloth on their body. damn the amount of body hair some kiwis have just gives me the creep!

with all the nude events in this blog, my blog sounds like some porno blog or something. yuck!

my room is nice and neat...finally!

2008-11-03T15:17:00.003+08:00

i've been chucking stuff under my bed. it seemed like a pretty smart way to get rid of all the things i have in my tiny lil room which costs a bomb! then my 'under-the-bed' secret dump ran out of space so i had to make use of whatever space i have on my floor. then when my floor got full, i had no space to walk. but i never cared. so i just kept piling stuff on the floor. then i realize that my carpet started getting really dirty coz of all of my dump.

decided to vacuum my room today. got rid of a whole lot of stuff. i've lost so many notes from my lectures. seems that they've been hiding under my bed. hmm... lucky thing they re-appeared. my carpet feels so good now. it's so nice and comfy and clean and i'm actually sitting on it while blogging this post. but u know what i realized? the reason why i have so much space on my floor now is because i dumped everything on my bed. aiyorh. i think i need professional help. :(

weird life of Melissa Tyndall

2008-11-02T07:39:00.005+08:00

last night was the continuation of the IPC Student Festival from the previous night. went there at 8.30pm and left at 9.15pm. that's how shitty it was. like hello! we are college students now, not pre-school students. well yea, of course the dances and performances were good; even the singing. if u ask me to perform like anyone of them, i cant. they were unique. but there were just too much dancing and singing and performing. what surprised me was that 'orang Vietnam yang hodoh sangat' played the guitar so well.

not important.

let's move on.

i had this weird dream last night. it's not scary but actually my happiest dream since i got here. i was crossing the road from McD area to go into The Plaza. as usual, ppl here do not cross like Malaysians, we have to wait for the pedestrian light to turn green. across the road i spotted someone who means so much to me in my life. i saw my mummy at the other end. she was smiling so brightly. it was such a pleasant surprise for me. when i walked over to her, she took my hand and hugged me then the two of us walked to somewhere. and as usual, mum loves to hear our stories, so i was telling her stories abt everything. then she stopped walking, and guess what i saw??

hint: another thing that means a lot to me in my life

my 4wd. my darling baby Isuzu Trooper. Mum had gotten it shipped all the way to NZ specially for me. i was speechless. i quickly hopped into the driver's seat and drove my mum around town and took her shopping.

weird thing is, why didnt my dad appear in my dream?

anyway, here's another story.

every Sunday i wake up just in time for lunch (if i dont go to temple that is)

i didnt feel like going to temple today coz i have 2 presentations this week and i havent started any yet. typical me. i went to dining and realised i cant remember where i placed my student ID. there was this cute Maori guy behind the counter at the dining. for those of u back in Malaysia, u know how u see in movies students 'q' up to take their food from the counter thingy? it's like that over here. i went up to the guy coz I need to swipe my card before i'm allowed to take my food. the thing is, dia hanya ada sana setiap Sunday and saya prasan that dia selalu pandang saya. so I went up to the counter and told him "saya hilang ID saya" in english. and u know what he did? dia tengok belakang, ketua dining that tengok dia, then dia cakap tak apa. masuksaja tapi jangan bagi tau sesiapa dia kasi saya ambil makanan. i was so like omg really?

kalau boss dia tau, dia banyak masalah lo. saya blogging dalam bahasa melayu supaya budak IPC yang baca blog saya tak akan tau. kalau mereka tau, rumour sini spread macam wild fire then dia akan ada masalah dengan boss dia. so i need to protect him because dia tolong saya.

shit why is my malay like that?

embarrassed to be a girl

2008-10-31T17:23:00.009+08:00

for the first time ever in my life, i feel so embarrassed to be a girl. its all Tee's fault. we had this IPC student festival today. i went to the party and saw this transsexual guy dressed as a girl. that did not surprise me. he always dresses as a girl; having make-up on. but it all started when he had to show his skill in dancing. he decided to strip dance. that was (i thought) gonna be cool. but it sucked. he bloody wore girl's panties which had a smiley in the front and it said 'crazy' at the back. i bet he bought it from the Warehouse where the cheapest lingerie are sold coz it was the ugliest panty i've ever seen. then when i looked at his upper body and i saw him wearing a bra. now that was too much but i told myself to calm down and accept it.

me. bored.

taken by my chinko. he was drunk

i totally lost it when he crossed the line. suddenly he appeared back on stage wearing a white and red dress, a pair of heels and a scarf. how can i accept that. i just couldnt take it anymore. my whole was ruined. bloody mad. still am mad. i've never accepted him in the community for his trans-sexuality. now, i'll never ever accept in my life.

NEVER!

angry much?

Auckland dude

2008-10-30T10:37:00.004+08:00

its weird ay. it was last Friday night when a few of my seniors suggested: "mel, why dont u try going out with a Maori guy? maybe he'll be fun". and you know what? that same night, a Maori guy asked me out.

but wait.

it's not the first time.

i was in All Bar 3. met the same guy I met in Detroit just a week ago. he was from Auckland. shifted to Palmy. dont know why. dont bother knowing. i dont even know his name. i couldnt even remember we met. it was im who saw me first and he pointed and let out a friendly laugh and he was like "it's you!" as usual the idiot (melissa) looked behind to see if he was pointing at another chick. but no it was only me and guess what i was standing in a corner. like right at the end of the corner. how can anyone else be behind me?

then he walked up to me and he said something but i tried not to listen coz i thought he was a drunk horny fool. then he realised i was acting weird. then i was like "do i know you?" whoa he felt hurt. his face showed.

"yea, we met in Detroit last week. i was the one who bought you the rose."

oh shit. idiocity revealed.

"damn! i'm so sorry. bad face memory (pull a dumb-ass sympathy-seeking face)"

and we danced. first it was me and him dancing then his kiwi friend came along. boy was he the ugliest kiwi i've ever seen in my entire life. u know how ppl always saw Maori dudes are ugly? well imagine this kiwi dude. but honestly, that Maori dude looked really good. like the main singer in Nesian Mystik.

sorry ppl. i live in NZ now and they support their local music industry. so yea. probably when i get back to Malaysia, i'll be listening to all kiwi songs and there'll be no doubt i'll be the weirdest Malaysian alive. but i have to say, these kiwi songs have some quality in them. way better than local acts!

anyway, while both the men were trying their best to flirt, the Maori guy went out to smoke and the kiwi guy disappeared. i was so glad. danced with my fellow IPC friends. suddenly the kiwi guy returned and danced with me again. then the Maori guy came and he walked over to me but saw his friend with me. damn he felt hurt again. this time, he walked away for good.

that Maori guy then tried hitting on a kiwi chick. dont know what happened and dont wanna know what happened.

nightmare woman

2008-10-29T11:57:00.004+08:00

i was half way thru assignment (i still am). it was just 2 minutes ago. i had to go to the laundry to make sure no one 'helps' me do my laundry by putting my washed clothes into the dryer coz that outfit of mine costs over 100 dollars. yes, over 100 NZ dollars.

when i walked into the laundry room, i saw Vanessa there standing right in front of me doing her laundry. i was so shocked. i quickly backed out, ran out of the hall to see if i was in my own hall. it turned out i am in my own hall. i stopped, took a deep breath and went back into the laundry room.

she was too creepy, i had to be so subtle as as to avoid her from noticing me. when i was sneaking out of the laundry room, she turned around and spotted me and was like "hey melissa". fuck

i had to play along. so i was like

"hie. eerrr..... what are u doing in this hall? i thought u dont live here."

"oh i just shifted to this hall. here, my room's just there." and she wanted to show me her room but super melissa answers: "ugh i'm running late. gtg. bye"

gosh what is that super scary 32-year-old psychotic patient doing in my hall. who even gave her the permission to be by herself. she might just kill herself one day thinking its fun. she has the brain of a one-day-old baby! dayum she's scary. and apparently, my weird neighbour who sounds like mourning sexually when she talks is vanessa's bestie. shit!

i. must. evacuate. this. building!

east meets west

2008-10-25T09:55:00.004+08:00

that refers to me.

i was browsing thru some pics in fb and i went thru a lot of party pics. it instantly hit me how different we are. i mean the Asian ppl and the western ppl; the way we dress, the way we party, maturity level and stuff. i saw this graduation party pics of some 17yo and i was like 'what the hell! they are so immature for their age.' then i thought, wasnt i like that when i was 17? wasnt that the way i party? wasnt that the way i used to do my hair when i had parties to go to? wasnt that the way i had make up on my face?

then it hit me - i've been in NZ for slightly over 10 weeks now and i've totally changed to adapt to the lifestyle here. i turned 18 here. that means i never had the chance to go clubbing back home. i only started clubbing here. and i'm just too used to it (parties but not the fulll lifestyle of the kiwi ppl if u read my blog before this) here. imagine what will happen to me when i go back home? what sort of drastic reverse culture shock will i have to go thru?

it's gonna be hard for me. i went to this asian pool club last night and saw all the chinese men and i actually laughed at them for looking so ugly and immature. i met this 28yo guy and i thought he was only 15yo! shit. my holiday back in Malaysia is so gonna suck big time. i mixing with all these matured-looking and very mature attitude ppl here it's gonna be hard for me to mix with the ppl back home.

Malaysians love to act cute and act young. all Asians generally act like that. dayum... im so gonna suffer man!

depression

2008-10-18T06:23:00.002+08:00

this is no joke. trust me. for once i'm serious. the reason im feeling depressed may sound funny to all u guys back home in Malaysia but if u were to be in my shoes, u wont be laughing at all.

i miss Malaysia. no that's not the main point. the main point is that i can stand it anymore eating the food over here. my craving for Malaysian food is way too great. my taste buds recognize nothing but Malaysian food. in order to kill that craving, i've been snacking on a lot of junks here hoping to find that one thing that tastes exactly like Malaysian food. but i found nothing. so i'm surviving on Maggi mee.

it's unhealthy. i've been eating Maggi mee everyday since i found it here. and that was my third week here in NZ. i have it for breakfast and for supper everyday WITHOUT fail! how would u feel abt laughing abt my depression now? imagine all the damage that's been done to my body due to the unhealthy food. it's not pretty.

my depression is killing me. knowing that i'm gonna go home soon but i still have to wait. knowing everyone and everything i love back home is waiting for me but i'm still stuck here. it's sad. it's sickening. it's depressing. it's not funny. i hope my depression doesnt go into a deeper level. i hope i dont get physical and mental breakdowns. i hate it. i want to be back home. i wanna be with all those familiar faces. i wanna be in a place i'm used to.

i'm not saying NZ is a bad place. it's just that i'm not used to this place yet. why it's obvious i'm a Malaysian.

and I thought my left hand was weaker than my right hand

2008-10-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

well folks, i was wrong. i just got back from the IPC Olympics. We had thug of war for both girls and boys (mix), arm wrestling for girls and arm wrestling for guys, and wrestling for guys.

i was the arm wrestler for my team. i had so much confidence in my right arm coz i work it out a lot. for instance, i play tennis and basketball mainly using my right hand. so i should have some pretty nice biceps. but i was completely wrong. it was so hard for me to arm wrestle using my right arm. i actually lost to hannah when wrestling right hand but won left hand. and u know what, when they said we had to wrestle left hand, i nearly backed out. but luckily i stayed in and i won her. hmm...

but when i got into quarter finals, i had to wrestle this Tahitian bitch. she has so saggy boobs. eewww so disgusting. they were full of fat. so not attractive. sadly she fucking won me; both right and left arms. shit. but i wasnt mad at her for winning me. i wasnt even mad at hannah when she won the right arm.

the thing is, when the Tahitian bitch won, she slammed my hand several times on the table and my knuckles hit the desk and let me tell u, it hurt like hell. and when she won my left arm, she raised my hand to slam it down again but this time my reactions were fast so i managed to pull my hand away and she lost control and slammed her own fingers instead. boy, i should have recorded her reactions. her face fucking changed. i must admit it was scary tho. but hahahah did i laugh at her. and she cursed me but u know what, ugly bitch? i dont give a shit abt it. feel ur own pain.

mummy just called. my 4wd is going. i cant believe mum and dad is doing this to me. my baby 4wd. if the new owner doesnt take good care of it, ima so go after him. he better watch his back!

Tongan Rugby Team

2008-10-14T13:41:00.006+08:00

Oh. My. God.

I met the Tongan rugby players. not that I intended to meet them. I just met them. *tadah* just like that.

S.H.I.T.

ok.

so i was at Detroit clubbing with my friends after the Intercultural Fashion Show. we actually went to All Bar 3 and realize there was nobody there then we walked all the way to Detroit. we didn't know what to do there so we started playing pool. two Kiwi men were standing beside me and they asked if they could play with us and so I said ok.

and so we started playing. suddenly some b*tch came and pulled down my dress and bra and said my boobs were ugly. then she walked over to my Japanese friend and said something to her and walked to the cuter Kiwi guy and threw her whisky into his eyes. shit. it turned out she was his gf. he has bad taste. they finally got chased out of the club.

then i stayed with Yui while Chihiro and Kanami went out and there were a few Maori-looking men playing pool and the way they played made me laugh coz they looked so tough but they cant even aim. those men and I became friends. then I found out that they were the Tongan National Rugby players. I kept telling them they were lying but then it turned out they werent. that's when I felt like such an idiot.

I received so many kisses on my cheeks from them. then one no actually many of them offered to buy me a drink but I said no. then not one but many again asked if I wanted to dance and so I said yes. but then I met another guy at that time and the players thought he was my bf coz they even asked me if I had a bf but I said no.

it was super complicated. oh and yeah, they even bought Yui and I a rose each. gosh it was such a random night, it's making my blog random too.

to make things easier to understand, I met the Tongan national rugby players and some of the All Black players. and that's that.

PS it's not the first time rugby players are asking me out. :)

silly me

2008-10-08T15:13:00.003+08:00

im still super tired from earlier today. i did not go for a walk with Kathy. was too tired. i couldnt even wake up till my bro sent me msgs and that kinda disturbed my sleep so i woke up and started chatting with him.

im still thinking abt the whole day; esp how dumb i can be when it comes to native nz trees. well, its not my fault. im no kiwi! im Malaysian for crying out loud.

there was this scene of which i was at the nursery with Pickles and Ben and i suddenly saw some long but short grass. how do i explain it? its long for short grass. i hope i make sense. and it was green and had yellow here and there. i couldnt tell if it was the pattern or if it was wilting. it did look like it was wilting at some point and it did look like the pattern too. as silly and dumb as i can be, i asked Ben if it was the pattern. i asked if it was meant to be just green or does it have to have that yellow on it. gawd i saw him hiding his laugh. he said it's meant to be fully green with no yellow. and i was like; so its dying?? shut up, Melissa!!!

damn i bet he had the laugh of his life. omg what these kiwi ppl must be thinking of Malaysians?

and oh, here's something interesting. i got an email from my Kathy.

Hi Have you recovered from last week? Would you be able to write a short report for the EOC website about the trip - just a paragraph would be great . Thanks a lot.

I am still buzzing from my skydiving! I am glad you said to me "you will regret this if you don't do it" because that is what persuaded me to do it!!

Kathy

people, i'm coming out in the IPC website! this new Malaysian girl in the block is one hella popular chick

and I thought we were going tramping

2008-10-08T07:44:00.003+08:00

i honestly did think we were going tramping to see the trees and stuff. but no. we had to go to the back of IPC where there is some government land and plant trees. that was for our environments class. wtf!! i bloody wore 3/4 pants and my Adidas shoes which cost RM199 after discount which i bought from Malaysia.

i did meet this nice guy though. his name was Ben. i went out with him in the nursery's van to get more plants. but nothing happened. he's a nice guy. no exchanging of numbers so dont let ur minds go anywhere else.

they are some environmental-concerned people who wants to protect the environment. dont they have enough of green plants her already? i should so take these people on a trip to Malaysia so they know they have too much green everywhere.

we had to plant those stupid things for two hours. how tiring. i've got mud all over my white Adidas. it looks all choclaty now. disgusting! and i've got a million and one scratches on my leg. i didnt know there were thorns. and i kinda called a weed a plant and i stepped on a plant trying to kill it thinking it was a weed. and the weed which i thought was a plant; i planted it. wtf! i wasnt sent here to plant trees u know!!

i was so tired and hungry after the two-hour session. went straight to the dining for lunch and had a bowl of japanese noodles and some japanese curry with rice. now, im so full and tired and i need to go have my shower but every step seems so heavy and i promised Kathy i'll go for the wednesday walk with her later in an hour. how am i gonna survive this?

that's Malaysia

2008-10-04T13:24:00.003+08:00

Malaysian couple beaten to death in bizarre quit-smoking ritual

A Malaysian couple were beaten to death by family members in a bizarre ritual to cure them of a smoking habit and illnesses, reports said Friday.

A 15-year-old daughter of one of the four relatives who carried out the beating was also attacked after stumbling onto the scene and is fighting for her life in hospital.

Police spokesman Ku Chin Wah told the official Bernama news agency that the attack took place when Mohamed Ibrahim Kader Mydin, 47, and his wife Rosina Mydin Pillay, 41, visited their family on Thursday.

They mentioned that Mohamed Ibrahim was seeking help to stop his smoking habit, and that his wife was suffering from asthma and a liver ailment.

"Following this, a 23-year-old male relative suggested that the couple undergo a ritual which involved all family members joining forces to beat up the couple to rid them of their ailments," Ku told Bernama.

The four relatives smashed the couple's heads on a table and assaulted them with crash helmets and brooms, he said. An ambulance was called only hours later when they had not regained consciousness.

Bernama said that one of the four suspects, who are now in custody, was believed to belong to a "deviant" cult. Malaysia is a predominantly Muslim country and authorities periodically crack down on unauthorised sects.

how embarassing it is for me to read this news here in NZ.

Happy Birthday, Chihiro

2008-09-29T19:25:00.002+08:00

it's Chihiro's actual birthday today. and because the party was a total disaster, we decided to do a private party for her. as she has a huge huge appetite, we thought buying food will be too expensive so wee cooked instead. nahh, just kidding. we really wanted to cook.

now what did that Malaysian girl cook when she cant even prepare instant noodles properly? well, surprisingly she volunteered to cook IPC's all-time favourite fried rice a.k.a. nasi goreng in Malay a.k.a. chao fan in Mandarin. yeap im an expert at those terms.

I had this dumb driver's licence course earlier today so while i was away, Yui and Kanami prepared delicious cheesy chicken and some yummy spaghetti. and when i had an hour break from the course, i went to the common room of hall 2, talked to the girls for a bit and then ran to the dining hall to steal some meat and rice but got caught but that wasnt all. the most embarrassing part was the dining staff bloody chased me out for stealing rice. wtf!

but i just said sorry and ran off. then i went back to IPC to cook but i didnt know how to fry the onions so i needed Yui's help. somehow (i dont know how) the nasi goreng was a success. nothing got burned. whee~

then i went back for the licence shit talk but i went 20 mins late coz i already know all the rules as i have my malaysian licence but needed to go for this shit again to get a nz licence. all i need to go is get my fucked up licence converted. dont make me learn with ppl who dont know how to sit behind a steering wheel!!!

then we went to town. and i bought two pink bags from Strandbags. both were on discounts. one (handbag) went from $85 (RM198.05) to $39.90 (RM92.97) and a trolly bag which was originally $170 (RM396.10) but was selling for $85 (RM198.05). good deals ay. they're Aussie brands.

pictures from Yui's and Chihiro's birthday

2008-09-29T19:10:00.005+08:00

the two birthday girls and a gate crasher called Melissa.

when i want a decent picture with my Eak i get this fella in my way

and because he wanted so much to take a pic with me, i get a 'picture crasher'. hmm.. that's my self-created term. interesting ay

we're got this weird daylight saving thingy. it's like i have to put my time one hour ahead. now how weird is that? its hard adapting to it. therefore, i loose an hour in everything i do.

*sigh*

there's no where like crap Malaysia!

nothing much

2008-09-27T13:19:00.002+08:00

im here in singh's room feeling terribly bored. so yea, i decided to update ma blog.

last night we had yui, chihiro, karan and digi's bdae party all in one. it was planned to be very fun but the music spoiled everything. most of yui and chihiro's friends left early because they got totally lost and bored. only some of us, practically hardly any stayed back as we are what peopple call 'loyal friends'.

later that night we went to the club. now is when i start blogging in malay.

what happened is that ada dua orang suka saya but saya langsung tak prasan and apparantly mereka both told me on the same day. and also, all three of us were dalam satu kereta sama pergi ke town and mereka macam tengah lawan as if a thug of war.

aiyorh

saya mari sini bukan mau cari lelaki lar. well yeah but tak begitu cepat if u get what im trying to say. susah larr...

i wanna go back home!!!!

mummy!!!!!!!!!!! waa waaaaaaa

email warning

2008-09-24T14:23:00.002+08:00

oh isn't this interesting..

i emailed my cikgu a very important email while i was brain jammed. obviously, if she 'ada cukup otak' she could understand that i was in a bloody panicky state. bodoh babi!

here's what i had to say..

hiya. i would like to confirm if i can concentrate on .... (saya tak boleh post the rest of it. nanti orang IPC tau siapa itu cikgu then pergi report pasal saya.) ??

mel

and u wanna know apa dia jawab?

Hello Mel,

First of all, I would like to point out to you that, even when you're writing an email, or on the phone, you must always be aware of who you're writing to or talking to. I expect that from the next email, you'll be aware that you're actually writing to your 'cikgu', not your friend.

i cant post more than that. i just prasan that ada orang tengah stalking blog saya in IPC here. so i must berhati-hati. that's why i'm blogging in bahasa malaysia.

hmm..lucky thing i did concentrate in BM class!

Cherry Blossom Festival

2008-09-23T11:59:00.013+08:00

last Saturday, we celebrated Sakura Festival. it's some Japanese traditional festival i think. i have to admit i dont know what it's about but heck, who cares. back in Malaysia, i told myself i wanna wear a dress on the day of the festival but when i got here, i suddenly became really proud of my err mixed identity so i decided to wear my yellow Punjabi suit. it's the only traditional outfit i have here. i never liked wearing so much cloth and i never liked those outfits. but all of a sudden, i'm starting to like it. as a matter-of-fact, many ppl liked it.

hmm.. mummy, that proves i have good taste. told u i didnt want that pink suit u wanted to buy for me!!

that was how i looked like.

i'm not exactly the type who applies make up. i used to play with my eyeliner back home but it was just for cam whoring.

Yui, Chihiro and I

my two Japanese friends; Yui and Chihiro actually made me apply make up for that day. and u know what, it's a lucky thing that they made me do so. but it sucked. i bloody spent an hour applying my new liquid eyeliner i bought back in Malaysia. ppl here are like eyeliner experts and i didnt want mine looking like shit. i did have my makeup set with me but i kinda left my mascara back home coz i dont remember which part of the house i chucked it, so i used Yui's mascara instead. and that electronic eyelash curler from Watsons came in really handy.

mum carries herself very well in Punjabi suits but i used to wear those stuff and look like shit. so before the festival, i just sat down and just wondered how the heck mum always looks good in whatever she wears and how she looks marvellous in Punjabi suits. and i tried my very best to be like her. and it worked!!! i managed to look ladylike in a suit for once. mummy, i didnt have my pants folded up or my scarf thrown into ur handbag or my dress messy! i was neat!! i managed to be a lady. whee~

uuhhhh and i learnt ur style of putting the scarf on. i listened to ur advice! yay.. i'm finally improving!

anyway, all i did during Sakura festival was i was the meet-and-greet girl at the main gate for an hour

there were many cute guys but sadly they all had girls by their side. no chance for me *sigh* maybe i'll be lucky some other time.

then all i had to do was eat~

the two of us share a passion for delicious food. we're always sharing what we have. she finished all the chocolates in my room. amazingly, she cant grow fat. she actually eats more than i do. and when im dead full, she'll go around saying she's still hungry. and she doesnt do any exercise. wonder where she stores all that she consumes. hats off to her!

and how can i ever leave out the cam whoring moments?

if ur my friend, i bet u know how much i love open dance floors. if there's any opportunity to dance, never in a lifetime will i ever miss it. so yea, we had some Indian dance and it was open to anyone. well actually, the Indians from India did such a great job entertaining the crowd and there were requests for more of them. so this time, they invited everyone to join.

spot the girl in yellow

and after that, i had more cam whoring moments...

there are too many pics to be putting it all up in my blog but most of it are in facebook.

many ppl from far and near came for the festival. its the biggest annual event here in Palmerston North and i have to say it was great. i learnt a lo about other cultures. each culture had so many colours to make everything look so lifely. for once i get to lay my eyes on colours and not always the black clothes everyone wears. all in all, it was simply marvellous..

time to prepare for next year's Sakura!!

gosh i nearly forgot something..

a Kiwi guy came was staring at me from a distance. i felt it but ignored. so he made the first move. i was walking searching for food with my eating buddy, Chihiro while Yui was dead full and that Kiwi guy came right in front of me and he was like

"Konichiwa!!"

i was so like HUH?? and i had my ugly blur face on. then i realized then i was like "i'm not Japanese" but he was already gone.

wtf!

gone

2008-09-17T14:35:00.005+08:00

goodbye Tim!!

three IPC students left for some student exchange programme in Japan last Sunday and one of them's Tim. i dont know who the rest are and its not like i bother. the only reason i bother abt Tim is that he's my friend, he's a nice guy and he sold me his fan for $10 (RM26.50) which was considered pretty cheap here.

the fan did a fantastic job esp when i had that rash. but now, i don know what to do with it.

that's out of the topic. the main topic's that Tim's gone and there's no more Tim. no more Tim to get annoyed when i make noise at 3am outside his room; no more Tim to speak Hindi like an idiot.

hahah!!!!

in 5 months, i shall see u again so it's not forever. just for a short time

but i'm still gonna miss u anyway. have fun in Japan!!

over him

2008-09-13T09:23:00.002+08:00

the whole of this week, i've been doing nothing but realizing how much i'm over him. like i dont feel anything at all. previously, i was so like poking my nose on what he's up to and who he's with. amazing it is coz i honestly dont give a damn. it's time to find myself a new guy!! hmm...

one month

2008-09-10T18:59:00.004+08:00

one month ago...

i had my bestest best friends in Malaysia sitting in my house while i was running up and down the stairs packing my stuff

i drove from my house to KLIA which took me 6 hrs

i lost control of the car on the highway while rushing to the airport driving at 150km/h

i last hugged my dad, mum, older sis and darling baby sis

i cried the hell out of me throughout my solo journey to NZ because i love my family more than anything else in this world

i last wore my 'I Love Malaysia' tee from Giordano which i bought specially because i'm leaving the country

i last saw my home of which i grew up in since i was born and where i was showered with lots of love

now...

it's a whole new chapter for me.

today's dad's birthday. how i wish i can be back home celebrating it with him in Palm Delight; dad's fav hang out place. happy birthday, Papa. ur my all-time hero. why look up upon other ppl when i have someone right in front of my eyes to look up upon. i never really appreciated what u and mum have been doing for me but now, i totally understand why u did the things u did and why u said the things u said. it means a lot to me now.

now that i'm living in a very exposed environment, i've learnt to appreciate the close nit of our family. i thought we were just an ordinary family; nothing special abt us. but by talking to the ppl over here, i realized we're such a loving family. i've got both my parents together supporting me and my other sibling to the very end.

i used to complain a lot but now, i dont think i can anymore. mum used to say to me "someday, u will appreciate what ur dad and i are doing for u" but i never bothered but now mummy, i really do. i hope it's not too late that i finally opened my eyes. u ppl are the greatest ppl in my life.

i love u.

i never had the courage to tell my parents how much i love them ever since i grew up but i finally did since i got here. it was a blunt 'i love u' directly from my heart. i was a lil rebellious and a very much stubborn kid but u never gave up ur love. u listened to me when i was down. ur there to love me unconditionally.

i hope it's not too late that i finally realized.

i could hear the joy in dad's voice when i called him to wish him today. and i'll do my best to keep that hidden joy forever.

PS: thanks for the card bro. u made me cry the entire evening. but heck, ur such a donkey bro that i love so bloody much. like i've always said "i have only one bro and will only have one bro in my entire life." my older sis; my best friend and gossip buddy for life and my younger sis; my lil live baby doll.

a week of misery

2008-09-06T09:21:00.004+08:00

this entire week's been shit for me. it started of with me being sick; like normally sick. so i didnt take it seriously. after a couple of days, it felt like i was recovering. so i had my friends over in my room for like a social gathering. while my friends were over, i suddenly had this piercing headache. it was just mild. i took two panadols but it didnt work. my friends were still in my room.

it suddenly got worse. i phoned mum and dad to tell them and they talked to me for a while and delivered some bad news to me; my grandaunt passed away and that they were on the way back from her funeral. i was already crying due to the headache and cried even worse when i received the news. better still, Louis and i broke just an hour or so before i received the news. i wasnt crying because of our breakup. i was still trying to adapt. he was so nice to console me. i might have gone hysteric.

Jimbo, who was also in my room, brought his car to my room and rushed me to emergency looking at my condition. my whole body was shivering. Natalia and Ellen sat behind to take care of me while Jimbo and Louis sat in front. i was freezing and crying at the same time. Jimbo drove really fast. and because of that, the police chased after us. i was so pissed off although i was sick. i just answered him sarcastically. cant he see im dying right there??!!

when we reached the hosp, and i finally got in, and took the medication the doctor gave, everything became fine. good news was, doctor said i need not get admitted and i told him it's not like i want to either. Akshay, some guy from town, rushed to the hosp to see me after hearing that i was in terrible condition.

thought i was recovering but i got worse yesterday. i bought tickets for the rugby game last night and went for it although i was shit sick. came back and there was Elody's birthday. partied. Jimbo got drunk and started fighting. Louis tried to stop him from being violent and got punched in the head and he got dizzy. managed to get Jimbo to his room but Louis was too stubborn. no one could talk to him. he even pushed me away. but finally got him to go to my room. he was crying like hell. he's been keeping so many things to himself and never letting his feelings show but this time, he got weak.

finally managed to put him to his own bed. and there was Marina's birthday that night in town. i couldnt take it. my body deserved to be pampered. so i went back to my room and slept. woke up this morning; my phone was ringing. mum called to ask how i'm doing. and delivered more news. my cousin passed away and mum's on the way to her funeral and my other cousin's in terrible condition. i wont dare say critical yet. and my condition's like sit right now.

im living so far away and all these are happening. do i cry more? no. i've cried enough. my body seems immune to all of these shit happening around me. i listen showing no emotions. because there's nothing i can do to reverse time. 'what's meant to happen has to happen' is the exact same thing i told Louis last night and now i have to tell it to myself.

Louis and Melissa's relationship

2008-09-04T12:39:00.004+08:00

the first time i laid my eyes in him, he was with a bunch of French speaking ppl and two Malaysians. we introduced ourselves but i never remembered his name. i never bothered that is but i did take note on how cute this guy is. that was our first 'accidentally' meeting.

our second 'accidentally' meeting was in Nicola's room. i was there to socialize if u know what i mean. we re-introduced ourselves and i tried my best remembering his name but again i wasnt bothered. i didnt even take note of him in the room. after spending a few hours with our friends, he spoke to Jimbo that he wanted to know me better. little did i realize that he was watching me the entire time in the room. he had a soft spot for me by just watching me being myself. and so i agreed to spend some time with him away from the gang that night.

the next day, all i knew was i'm suddenly his girl. i honestly thought it was just a game so i studied him and realized he was serious.

like what everyone else thought, he's just a player but he isnt. he actually has a very kind heart. he may seem like a big-time gangster but looks can be deceiving. he's apparantly a very very nice guy.

imagine this: when u see two men walking down the street; one dressed very down to earth and the other is Louis, u'll definitely be more comfortable around the guy who dresses down to earth but u never know his personality. so dont judge.

most of those who are close to me and who care abt our relationship often ask abt our communication problem. Louis comes from a French speaking country while i grew up in a English speaking family. so he cant really speak English well and i speak fluent English sometimes too fluent for some non-native speakers to understand. but that was never a problem between us. communication between us was just perfect. most ppl find that he doesnt make any sense when he talkes or when he's showing his hand signals. i dont think the same. i think he has a point in everything he says but he just cant say it out. he tries his best to say and show what he's saying and when i think abt it, he is trying to say something that makes a lot of sense but sadly, most ppl laugh at it.

knowing him was the best thing that has ever happened to me here in NZ. he called me his girlfriend very proudly and that did touch my heart. i once had the same thoughts as others; that he's just a flirt. but now, i think he doesnt belong to that level. he deserves a way better recognition.

we ended our relationship last night. it was all good. i did look at him seriously-not just to flirt. but one night i was thinking of us and i feel like it's better that we just remain friends. and he felt the same too. so there was no crying or heart-breaking scene. he's my bestest best friend here now. we understand each other a lot.

my two-week relationship with him is probably by far the best relationship i've ever had with a guy.

I can't take it anymore

2008-08-21T13:07:00.004+08:00

greetings oh kind loyal readers of mine! i have good news and bad news to share with all of you. the good news is i'm moving to a single room and the bad news is i'm moving to a single room.

i know what ur thinking. u must be like "she never made sense at all. as usual." but ur wrong. i do make sense most of the time. so yea, lemme prove my point.

see, it's good news because i get to be away from my roommate and that i have my own personal space and i get my own room and also have some friends come hang out with me when im lonely.

all that is god for me. but it's bad in a way that daddy will have to pay for my room which is NZD$13,500 a year which is equivalent to RM35,100. i really dont want to push my dad that much. it's good enough that he sent me here to study and now i have to stretch my hand for more. i feel really bad for him. it was hard for me to tell him that i wanted to move but i had to. my roommate's giving me too many problems. i cant take it. i am here to study as my parents expect me to do. i know it wasnt easy for them to just let me go so far at such a young age.

i saw them holding back their tears while sending me off at KLIA and i could feel it when i hugged them goodbye. it was a total different feeling. they love me dearly and i love them like hell.

mum called and told me not to worry abt the money. they'll keep sending me cash as much as i need. she said all they want me to do is study and also enjoy my life here in a good way. i know, mummy.

i've been thinking about the whole situation and i came up with a solution. since NZ is at one cut-off end of the world and everything here cost like hell, i might just work part time. so hopefully that'll help but i have a problem with that; my parents may not allow me to go out and work. shite. sometimes, i think they're just overprotective.

i envy u guys back in Malaysia. Wern Di's got June as her roommate and Agnes is living with her brothers and Evon with her cousins. aren't u guys just lucky! look at me struggling with a bloody Viet here who listens to stupid Viet orchestra music and tries to impress me by playing JT's What Goes Around Comes Around for hours just because i told her i love English songs and that's the only English song she has.

and that ugly boyfriend she brings back to the room's just ugly. i was waiting for the bus to go to town the other day and she was there with her boyfriend and she was shouting "I'm beautiful I'm beautiful". well, lemme tell u this, u dont have anything at all to be proud of. not even a nice smile. so shut up.

orientation

2008-08-15T13:25:00.005+08:00

this pic has absolutely nothing to do with orientation. i went with the other malaysians to visit a kiwi + malaysian baby. isnt she/he cute. damn i forgot the sex of the baby.

this may not have anything to do with orientation either. i just got over excited after seeing a 'pisang goreng' there so me being a malaysian had to get my cam out and snap a pic of that. ahahahaha. call me weird i dont care.

now tis looks like orientation. that's me and the Maori ppl. mum says i look like a Maori. she kept telling me. and u know what, i do look like a Chinese Maori ey..

new students much?

sorry ppl, i dont know whay i cant upload the Maori vids i recorded here. so, i'll just put up some pics instead.

i'm just lazy and tired. more next time..!!

save me PLEASE!!!

2008-08-15T12:42:00.004+08:00

shit!!! this is not good news. see, last night i had a terrible night mare. i nearly died in my sleep. i dreamt of a roommate arriving. im in a double room with no roommate. i prayed so hard that my roommate will never appear like she'll miss her flight or something. but shit, she's coming!

in the dream, the roommate was an asian. she had yellowish skin and had black hair. she wore a pink 3/4 sleeves top and blue jeans and she had no fringe. and today, i was told that my roommate will be a vietnamese. dreams do come true but please not this. it's showing signs that my dream is gonna come true. vietnamese=yellow skin, black hair, asian. SHIT!!!

that's not it. im currently hogging the whole room right now. like my stuff are all on the floor and not in the cupboard. in the dream, she came into the room and she couldnt stand me and my 'who cares' attitude so she got mad at me and she took my laptop and threw it out of the window. what if it really happens? oh fuck!

im jumping out of my window tonight but the sad thing is my room is on the ground floor. like all the rooms are on the ground floor coz there's no two-storey or three-storey buildings here. so if i jump, i might not even break a finger. shit!

i need to get out of here. but to go to a single room at the age of 17, i have to pay another NZ$5,500(RM14,300) and if i ove out when im 18 i have to pay another NZ$3,500 (RM8,750)! will daddy pay for that much so soon after all the lost-bag-drama!! oh @(#*&@#^&$Q%#$#@&!!!!!

wait.

i need to breathe. forgot to breathe while typing all that. phewh i suddenly feel alive again. see, didnt i say u ppl back in Malaysia are lucky pieces of shit! u dont have to go thru these dramas here.

tonight, i shall spread my legs again (that's what Taro told me to do). he said to spread my legs...

.....

....

to play those japanese drums.

New Zealand

2008-08-13T13:05:00.003+08:00

so here's the blog i promised. i'm fine here in NZ. still settling down though. lemme just tell u a lil bit abt my journey here.

first of all, i drove from Sitiawan to KLIA which took me 6 hours. and in somehow, on the way, i lost control of my car. that wasnt fun at all. i had my parents, 6-year-old sister and my dad's friend in te car. secondly, when i reached KLIA, i had to 'Q' up for 90 mins to get my boarding pass because the system was down and there was NOTHING they could do abt it!! pfft... so my flight was delayed two hours. the JetStar airstewards were way beyond hunky. they were just perfect!!! trust me. airsyewardess are only for business class and first class. so in economy class, we got all guys.

when i reached Sydney, i had only 20 mins in the airport. i went to clear customs but the bloody lady scolded me for doin so because i was just transiting there. she told me to go straight to gate 50. like where the hell was gate 50 i didnt know. so i was a lost cow in Sydney; rushing blurly to catch my flight. and because i was in such a rush and scanning the whole area with my eyes, the bloody authorities accused me for trying to smuggle drugs into the fucking country and so they had to do a security scan and didnt let me go! what the fuck!!!

when they finally realized i was innocent and let me go, i rushed to gate 50. had to take a bus there!! when i reached to check in counter, they didnt let me in because i only had my ticket and no boarding pass and that the plane was about to take off. so i pleaded to let me in as i was s student and that the bloddy aussies didnit give a shit abt helping me. finally she called up Qantas and they allowed me in. when i got in, i found out that my bag was not transferred because i did not ask for a transfer at the transfer desk. like fucking nobody told me to do so. the lady at the customs told me that it would be transferred automatically. FUCK!!!

so i gtot to Welli and had to wait a few hours for my transport to arrive. i had absolutely no clothes with me. in Welli, two vans came to send off some Japan visitors and one van had a flat tyre, so we had to get that fixed. left for Palmy. reached at night. rushed to the only open clothing outlet before it closes to get some clothes to wear for the next day.

lucky thing, my bag arrived the next day too. lemmme tell u guys, Kiwis are much better than Aussies. they're willing to help unlike Aussies who just fucking annoys u in any way!!!

off to dinner now. catch my next bblog. it'll be abt my college. gonna post some pics too and Maori vid so u guys back home can watch! cheers

journey to the north

2008-08-05T00:08:00.014+08:00

the title of this blog sounds so unique like beyond words but honestly the blogger's just an ordinary dumbass trying to sound like some poet or something.

SUN, 2nd Aug 2008- The worst driver in Sitiawan who drives beyond speed limits and who has even received a speeding 'saman' goes on a road trip to Ipoh. The authorities had to clear the roads as the mad driver was on the move. She, the 17-year-old driver, left Sitiawan at 4.35pm and reached Ipoh at 5.45pm. How did she make it in such short time?

When confronted in an interview, she pulled a very 'innocent' face and claimed she drove according to the set speed limits. We shall wait and see if any 'samans' reaches her. She also claimed that she knew the roads in Ipoh very well esp to the wedding hall but while taking her parents there, she kinda got lost but did not admit it. She told her parents to have trust in her as she knows what she's doing.

During the wedding dinner, we received feedback that she got so bloody pissed off looking at everyone and went to the bar to get herself a drink but couldnt get a chance to even sneak a sip as there were just too many men at the bar who knew her as that 'yellow-brown skin girl' and the bartender was staring at her in a weird way as she was the only girl at the bar (admit it. all the other girls were pretendig to be so good. just wait til no one's looking. they'll rip off their 'good faces' and act like uncivilized beasts) . What would have happened if she started drinking there?? Only God knows.

At 11.20pm, Miss Tyndall decided to head home but realized some asshole parked his ugly looking Mercedes in front of her car. So she went back in the hall to make an announcement but no one seemed to care. So as usual she started cursing and believe this; the driver of the car was standing right beside her listening to her curse the driver (the driver was kinda hot tho). What a small world.

So she started her journey home at 11.35pm and reached Sitiawan at 12.29am. Reports were made that a green Toyota Innova with number plate not mentioned for confidential purposes sped right through all the red lights ignoring the other vehicles.

The car was later spotted hiding somewhere as the driver thought she saw a police roadblock. Reason: kept secret. She proceeded home after learning it was just a lorry. We also learnt that the driver drove an average of 100km/h. She was responsible for having her mum, dad and 6-year-old sister in the car. Tyndall's mum and sister were sound asleep while dad remained awake throughout the journey but you know men and their whiskys.

and what do i get for driving so much?? u've gotta believe this....

i get a sweet RM200!!

nahh not for driving so far. it's just that my dad's younger bro just got the news that i'll be leaving for NZ this sun so he felt like he needed to gimme something so he gave me RM200. i could not accept it but this is what he had to say:

"shut up and take it will you"

so i was like "fine". and i gave him a 'thank you hug' but he didnt really hug me back. i felt weird. SUDDENLY, that donkey uncle of mine took out his whiskey glass from his shirt pocket-the pocket at the chest. i couldnt believe my eyes. stared at him with absolutely nothing to say.

"after all that is said and done, the whisky's still the closest to my heart"

that's what he told me. how hopeless. then he gave me a real tight hug. aawwww how i love hugs!!!

weddings

2008-08-02T09:19:00.004+08:00

the whole weekend's abt weddings.

i. dont. like. weddings!

- they're boring
- they take hours to just say 'yes' or 'i do' or whatever
- the bride and bridegroom are always late
- i dont see a reason why everyone 'uuhhh-s' and 'aahhhh-s' all the time
- sitting down for hours makes my back pain
- i dont like wearing girly girly clothes (but i love heels)
- i wonder why guests always wear their best as if they're the ones getting married
- the crowd's always staring at me because of the way i dress (so unlike the other punjabi girls) and because of my skin colour (fuck)
- i've always felt like an idiot while they're busy getting married

maybe all that isnt important.

what's important is...
i cant understand why ppl rush into getting married. girls cant wait to get married once they're in their early 20's. dont they know how to enjoy life. why tie urself down with commitments. after marriage comes a baby. pfft. i think if i become a mom, i'll be the next mummy Britney Spears.

words from a wise man-

"it takes days and lots of hard work to get married but it only takes hours to divorce" by daddy.

mum's currently pissed at me downstairs because there's a wedding to attend in less than an hour and i just woke up and now i'm blogging. im trying my best to avoid going but she doesnt seem to care!

my British accent?

2008-08-01T14:48:00.003+08:00

went to the maxis center to top up my phone. the lady there didnt notice me in the shop so as my usual bitchy self, i started tapping my finger nails on the glass one by one in a very annoying way (and i was like rolling my eyes a lil too). =P

when she finally came over to me, i told her that i wanted a RM100 top up. the man beside me looked up and stared at me. i bet he was like what the heck does this young girl need RM100 for? then suddenly he spoke 'Whoa until RM100'.

mind your own business mister!

so i just smiled at him. then he just listened at everything i was saying to the girl. when i was done he suddenly stopped me.

'Your English is very good. I bet you're not local'

like hello!! 'I'm Ipoh born' =)

that kept him shut for a bit to know that im local. everyone's been talking abt my different accents. June and Wern Di has been talking abt my British accent and my American-influenced curses which i use way too much.

sorry girls, those words just come out without me controlling anything. i dont fake it. i use it everyday at home (except for the curses. my parents will slaughter me). and my parents dont give a damn abt whatever accent i use coz they completely understand it's natural.

so take a chill pill y'all.

gone in no time

2008-07-26T14:27:00.012+08:00

i felt like i needed to spend some time in the city for a bit to get away from err the 'village stress'.
so i took the 1am bus to kl. it was like shyt but heck i needed to get away from this kampung.

when i reached, i texted all those i knew who lived in the city.
i spent the whole afternoon with my study agent. the recruitment officer from my future college came over to malaysia. so i went to talk to her for a bit and also to collect my visa from my study agent.

many of my friends turned out busy that day so i contacted my Sitiawan friends and told them that i wanted to go out. luckily, they have that sort of 'Sitiawan understanding'. so we went out. i took the RapidKL bus to the Kelana Jaya bus station and Evon picked me up from there and we headed to Sunway Pyramid. Agnes was already waiting for us to arrive. we invited How Ye to come but sadly he couldn't make it.

we ate at Kim Gary's and shopped a bit til the shops closed. then at 10pm, Evon had to go home. so Agnes and i decided to camwhore. we took the view of Sunway Lagoon as the background.

a very decent picture of us.

she blows me a kiss

and i return that kiss by kissing her on her cheek
*how sweet*

*************************the next day*************************

i had to go see the doctor on monday morning. so from Kelana Jaya, i rushed to Jalan Imbi in KL.
it's my second time visiting that doctor. i'm just too used to the queue there now. so i used my lil Sitiawan brain and called up the clinic.

i told them that i drove to KL myself all the way from Sitiawan and i was in a hurry to go back home on the same day. and they bought it. they dont accept appointments via phone calls but mine worked!! i felt like a light bulb for no reason. but still i had to wait for 3 hous til my turn came. i remember a lady telling me she had to wait for 5 hours til it was her turn. how miserable.

after seeing the doctor, i realized i became broke instantly. i went to his clinic with my purse barely able to close and left his clinic with an empty purse. immidietly i took my phone and called up mummy. i was like SOS mum! i need cash right now!! i'm flat.

but she was busy. so she asked to wait for a while til she got to the bank and banked in some cash. so i went to Times Square and watched Batman The Dark Knight and met this shortiee..

*************************the next day*************************

went to 1U to karaoke after i finally had some cash. Agnes was supposed to pick me up at 10am but Evon had some sudden replacement class so she picked me up at 12pm. i slept off while waiting and this was what happened to my hair.

we went to Topshop hoping to find a dress. clothes were so cheap there but i just couldnt find a suitable dress. when Evon and How Ye arrived, we carried on with our plan; karaoke.

at first i thought karaoke was gonna be fun. it was. but when u are to karaoke for hours and a small cold room, u really get damn bored. just like me. so my mind became 'creative'

this was in Bangsar.

went to Bangsar to shop after karaoke-ing. the shops were so high up. had to climb up and down and up and down. so tiring.

no sharing meals??? only in Malaysia.

had dinner after that. met up with some of How Ye's friends and friends of How Ye's friend. had dinner together and caused havoc in the restaurant. and then spotted the 'no sharing meals' sign. Goddamn that sign made my day. wont find it anywhere in NZ!

*************************the next day***********************

goodbye me

i'm leaving. that's all i have to say. it's a fact no one can change now. my bags are packet, my passport's ready with a student visa stamped in it and my travel tickets are getting impatient. there's no time to think it over anymore; to stay back or to leave.

so while staying with my sis, i went out with my friends marking one the very last dinners or outings rather we get to spend together.

two gorgeous girl; evon and me

all of us. me, evon, agnes and how ye @ TGIFridays

the true side of typical malaysians; pictures of us and food

no doubt that's one malaysian babe

and you get another

can you feel the love?

two undeniably random kids and agnes's perfect aiming of the cam

a bunch of strangers i had to send flying kiss to

we got bored see. so we started spinning the knife playing truth or dare. i dont wanna tell no truth so i picked dare and my first dare was to send flying kisses to strangers. and so i did it. and guess what, i even joined them at their table!!

miss gorgeous who drove me everywhere

i dont know why the hell this pic is so bloody gay. we look so shy. sh*te

being our complete normal selves

spastic. i know

the three ladies. look how grown we are now. imagine how much different we'll all be when i get back from kiwiland

the bodyguard. he's a good bloke

and there she goes kissing complete strangers. tsk tsk. didnt mummy tell u to behave like a lady?!!

need some entertainment? here lemme entertain you...

my second dare was too sing a song out loud and use that chili sauce bottle as a mic. pfft

random poses using agnes's cam

i dont know what they see in this pic. =_=

emotions

2008-07-26T02:06:00.003+08:00

i have 15 days till i leave the country. my emotions are running wild. i'm happy i get to go study abroad. it's what i've always been dreaming of while i was a lil kid. i told myself i never wanna ever go for tertiary education anywhere in malaysia.

i had an offer to go study in new zealand a week after spm results came out but i didnt want to accept the offer. i'm an idiot as usual. so my parents talked me thru it and managed to somehow brainwash me to want to go to nz. and the idiot finally agreed to go study in nz.

at first i was overjoyed. i get to go. it was a dream come through (except in my dream, i always wanted to study hard; in real life, i never studied). i've been waiting to go since march 08. but everything's been postponed til now. i'm finally making a move. i'm leaving.

my friends consider me really lucky. everyone does. i get to go but they're stuck here.

dear friends,

it's hard to leave. i love everyone here. i love u guys. i love mum and dad. i love my lil sis. she's so close to me. she cried when i left for kl. and that was only for four days. imagine what will happen to her when i leave for so long?

yea, i know i gotta look at the bright side; i have a chance to go and get settled fast.

but it's not as easy as everyone thinks. one may not show it but she who hides her emotions has to deal it with herself. it's not easy at all.

it's not easy leaving the ones i love behind. it's for the better. but i'll be so far away from home in a stranger's land. and i'll be all alone. u guys get to be together here in malaysia. i have no one in nz. no relatives no nobody. just ppl i talk to online and hope to rely on them. it may seem easy by the way i talk abt it but dealing with it is not easy at all.

malaysia's my home. no matter how corrupted the country may seem or how shitty it may be, i'm still a malaysian at heart and forever will be. it's my country; my roots; where i come from. i know how u guys cant wait to leave and feel i'm so lucky coz i dont need to stay in this crap area. it's just a whole different senario.

i want to make the most out of these 15 days. imagine this: i hardly got to talk to my brother while he was back here for a month. he's busy preparing to leave for his second year and i'm busy preparing to start a whole new life. it's not fun. not at all.

i really wanna spend every single second i can with those close to my heart. these 15 days i have left in my hand is just too precious to let go just like that. i want to make the most out of all that i have now. so when i'm depressed in a starnded country, i have memories to cling on to.

what is a 17-year-old to do so far away from home. my bro left malaysia when he was 20. but im not 20. im just a kid. a kid who'll be going so far knowing that she has no one across the world over there.

if you ask me now and give me a chance, i'll choose to stay back. spend a year here in malaysia then leave. i spent my high school life with my friends. i wanna spend at least part of my college life with my friends too but i dont got no chance to do that.

maybe one day, when u guys leave malaysia to further ur studies, u'll understand but u wont have the exact same feeling i'm going thru right now coz when u leave, u'll be much older and mature. so u'll handle it easier compared to me.

i wanna let all my friends out there know that although i'll be gone for so long, u guys are forever my friends. no matter what i'll treasure all those crazy immature moments we spent with each other coz that's what made my childhood perfect.

just spilling out part of my emotions.

dresses much?

2008-07-07T23:36:00.003+08:00

im bored

i have one month before i leave the country so i decided to start packing. actually i did the packing abt two months ago then took all the clothes out again =)

so now i have to re-pack. what an idiot.

anyway i was counting my dresses. found abt 10 teenage like dresses and one working aunty kinda dress and one really elegant gown (not sure if i can carry that gown elegantly)

didnt know there were so many dresses hiding in my closet. i shall dig my closet even more then maybe i can find more dresses. whee...

*hope i have enough dresses for coll* if not then *shy*

God listened to me

2008-07-06T16:21:00.002+08:00

yesterday was a great day although it was very tiring. i went shopping with a neighbour of mine who also is a junior of mine in school. she needed transport to to come back home from tuition so i went to fetch her and then we went shopping for dresses.we might attend a school party together.

we went to a few local boutiques. and in one of the boutiques (which we spent abt 2 hours trying on dresses), we saw some transsexual prostitutes buying dresses. we hid in one changing room for a bit till they were gone. then we tried on a few more dresses. in the end, i bought two tube dresses and she bought a peter-pan like dress. felt so happy. got new dress liao!! whee...

then later that night i went to pick dad up from his office (his BMW masuk hospital), i so happened to ask him abt the cendol uncle and he said he asked the same to some clients today and found out that he's alive and in stable condition!

so so so happy to hear that the cendol uncle is still alive. i cant imagine seeing someone die right in front of my two eyes!!

leeches and Chulan

2008-07-04T00:40:00.005+08:00

this blog is specially written for Chulan. so be P-R-O-U-D!!

a picture of Chulan and me taken in 2006 while we were attending OBML
we look so very ugly and tired and dark

i somehow met Chulan somewhere during the last days of OB. i was voted as emcee of the night. among the whole 200 over ppl there, the guys must vote for me. apalar. not like they can even pronounce my Tyndall properly esp Baihaqi. everytime call me Melissa Cendol only!!

a junior from sch who attended the camp introduced me to him because i cant write a formal speech. im more of the impromptu type. so i seeked Chulan's help for the speech.

oi Chulan remember when that pic was taken? u were asking for my hse add and when i asked why, u said u'll send me greeting cards! two years have gone and no cards from u! smack u man!!

cant imagine we ppl paid RM800 or so (forgot liao) just to sleep on pure hard ground and eat uncooked food and suffer under the stupid hot sun. so panas!

well since i got my Queen's Guide award, Chulan just cant stop yadda yadda-ing abt leeches. honestly Chulan, leeches are really cute. and they're useful. and they're scarily ugly and eekie but still adorable.

and no, im not scared of leeches. actually im very scared to be honest but im brave enough to tahan them. after attending OBML for 3 times (twice in Lumut and once in Sabah), i learnt to not scream when i see one in my shoe.

there was once during group camp in OB when we went climbing and trekking Hutan Simpan Teluk Muroh, where we had to cross a river after a quarry and the place was loaded with leeches. remember?? we sneaked a packed of salt from the kitchen (i think) and sapu it all over man. then i also finished one bottle of insect repellent spray that time. sprayed all over my legs and feet. and also wore my socks over my pants. so scared they might go up my legs. hahah i was a pure nerd man!!

after all my effort, i took out my shoe and found two leeches trying to enter my socks. luckily i wore those thick men's socks so they couldnt get in. whoa luckily u werent there to see how my face changed colour. lmao that's exactly how scared of leeches i am. i didnt scream with my mouth open but i did let go a scream with my mouth closed.

*shy*

if u laugh at me Chulan, ima so go smack u! i'm being honest k!!

and although im a Queen Guide now, let me tell u. there's nothing like OB experience. most of our outdoor camps are in the wisma. so we dont get as much of outdoor as we get in OB. the persatuan now is trying to be very high class. my final Queen's Guide test was help in a hotel and we stayed in suits. imagine that. had a room with a dinning area equipped with a microwave oven and a tv area and very comfy sofa and a huge make up table.

and instead of sweating 24/7 like we did in OB, we were freezing to death. so sejuk!

and finally...

as promised!

i'll pray for you, cendol uncle

2008-07-02T12:39:00.004+08:00

just an hour ago, i went to fetch my lil sister from her tuition center. i was cursing all the other drivers because i couldnt find a parking. i managed to spot a tiny lot and somehow, managed to squeeze my 4wd into the lot (the back of my car was sticking out).

i felt satisfied as i finally parked my car. then, suddenly i heard a loud explosion. i saw a girl on a bike before the explosion and at first i thought her engine exploded. so then i ran out of my car to see if she was ok. from the driver's seat, i could see red stain on the road. my imagination went wild.

when i went closer, i saw a body on the road. before i could even register the whole situation, i quickly covered my eyes. i cant stand seeing all these. then a man (who often guide me with my parking) came and whispered "sudah mati lar". OMG i couldnt take it. i quickly ran to the site and offered to take the victim to the hospital but somebody (a taxi driver) offered help first.

it was a cendol uncle. the victim was a cendol uncle. the family who's very famous for their cendols. the guy who sells cendol in front of the Hindu temple after The Store, his uncle. they've been out in the newspapers so many times.

and the red stain on the road was his cendol kacang. when the men were lifting the uncle, i saw skin from his face came off. i saw pure flesh. and his body was jerking. he was unconscious. OMG i hope he's fine.

dear God, why must all these happen? the man's a good guy. why him? he's from a poor family. please have some mercy for him. he works very hard to make ends meet. i see him struggling to cycle everyday under the blistering sun to go sell his cendol to support his family. he's such a skinny man. i saw his body; fragile with all bones. please. only You know what You're doing and only You know whats best. what has he done to deserve all these?

and when i got my lil sis and went back into the car, i told her abt the whole accident. dropped her home after that and then went out again. she went right to my mum and she told something to my mum. somehow, that 6-year-old child misinterpreted the whole story and said that i was the one who knocked down the cendol uncle. and i dont normally drop my sis home and leave again so my mum bought her story and panicked. she thought i was in a rush to go back to the scene.

she tried calling my phone but i didnt take the call as i was driving. she got even more worried. so she called my dad who was at work and said that i was in deep trouble and dad heard my lil sis shouting in the background that the cendol was all over the place. so the both of them started calling and asked what happened and asked if i was hurt. gosh i didnt mean to give them a heart attack. i had to rush home and tell my mum that i wasnt in any way involved in the accident.

i thought of bringing out my phone at the scene and record all the happened but then my 6th sense told me not to. i dont wanna be called to court as a witness if there's a case.

i really hope the cendol uncle is fine, tho. i referred his condition to a private doctor whom i visit everyday and the doctor said that chances of him surviving is low. he was unconscious and the jerking was indicating his last few breaths and the shock. gosh...

Uncle (Kalai, 18) is OLD

2008-06-22T11:05:00.014+08:00

i honestly thought he was only 17! he has a really small body frame. gosh... no worries, kalai, u will grow bigger and taller (than me) one day. maybe when i get back from kiwiland i'll be like a dwarf beside u.

he had his birthday party at Pizza Hut. little had i realized how much i've missed eating pizza. i was a lil late. at 7.25pm, i still could not decide what to wear and i was supposed to be there by 7.30pm! so then i just wore something normal and decided to go with a naked face =)

drove to Pizza Hut to see only Kalai, Lashiny and J-Cynn there (it was already 7.45pm or so).

the rest of the gang came a lil later but whoa the crowd was crazy, thinesh had never changed. and vicky? nahh, he's always thought he was a big time thug but i think his heart is too soft to be a thug. lets face it, all the guys think they're thugs.

pfft.

Party Pictures

cutie Thinesh

look at Kalai's happy face

cacat-ed

i like her eyes

Kalai's birthday present from me
I'm so glad u like it, Kalai

nigga!!!

=_=

Avinesh. hah! he was still chewing his pizza

those girls behind me are really pretty

uuuhhhhhhhh =)

spastic

oh those fingers!!

Kalai's cute lil bro

posing while waiting for Izzati's parents to come.
it was a long one hour wait. phewh

Kalai's photography skill??

At like 10pm, we (Kalai, Farah and I) left for Lumut to join Thinesh, Vicky and the gang who were at some quiet scary place.

Kalai u camwhore!!

me and my 4wd. my driving is really safe

this was taken somewhere at a traffic light when the light was red
my face was a lil unprepared
too worried the light might turn green any time

when we reached, Kalai went out to see the guys while Farah and i waited in the car. Suddenly, a guy on a bike came up to the passenger's seat and asked us to roll down the screen. we got scared. told farah to just roll it down a lil. he said he wanted directions. he wants to know where Taman Samudera is. im so like wtf! i've never been there myself. we said we dont know and that we're not from that area. so he said he wanted our numbers. we kept saying no. then he said not mine, he wanted Farah's number.

Oh. My. God!!

he was a malay so i guess thats why he wanted her num. so we quickly called Kalai and he came rushing with some of the guys but they were a lil too late. the guy had already left. the worst part was, although we were so terrified, farah could still snap pictures!!

after the whole drama, i had to send farah home. it was already 11pm at that time. then it was kalai and i. we couldnt decide where to go. he wanted to go to places. so we went to the beach, Teluk Batik. it was really windy there. the breeze was so fresh. liked it a lot.

we talked abt general stuff. and then came in the pictures.

random pic with the wind blowing into our faces

my cam flash was too blinding so i wore my sunnies

and comes the pic kalai dont want me to put it up in here

look kalai!! it's our feet. whee!!

before leaving, which was somewhere around 12am, we saw this pair of ponies who were doing their stuff. boy, was the male pony horny!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KALAI!!!

homies

2008-06-15T00:39:00.012+08:00

after what seems to be like a million light years, i finally went out with my friends from high school. it felt so good although it was for a short while. wern di came home for the weekend for no particular reason. typical. cindy's home every weekend apparently and wei hao? dont bother abt him. he takes hours to get dressed. he's worse than a girl

as planned, wern di and i met at cindy's at abt 3pm. wern di's car and my car were parked directly opposite each other in front of cindy's neighbour's house, it was kinda hard for the other cars to pass and we sort of stared at how every car squeezed thru both our cars with our mouths open wondering if they'll hit any of our cars. hahah

cindy has some personal problems. *sigh*... i feel for her.

after a while, we went to wei hao's house and picked him up (he's hopeless) and headed to city kopitiam. i never liked that place and will never like that place EVER!

i only eat typical malaysian food nowadays as im leaving the country soon and am so gonna miss the food here. so wei hao, wern di and i settled for ABC special. cindy had some tom yam fried rice which tasted rather good tho.

and as usual.... the pictures =)

the battle of the girl wearing PDI and the girl wearing Giordano
that Giordano top was my 16th birthday present from the girls

this next pic kinda has a history. well a conversation type of history actually. i asked the waiter to help me take a group pic of us.

MEL T: "excuse me? can u help snap a group pic of us, please?"

WAITER: "my picture??"

MEL T: wtf! who the hell wants ur pic. eeeyyyeeeewwwww. "No, not ur pic. *yuck* Our pic."

WAITER: "ok."

he took the cam and held it for like several seconds and just stared at the screen

MEL T: " hurry!! the batt's running low!" idiot.

WAITER: mumbled something none of us understood

WEI HAO: mumbled something back neither of us understood but laughed.

and 'click'

there u have it!!

Cant wei hao try to at least look good in pictures!!
it's really hard to hate someone so annoying like him who actually makes one laugh by doing nothing

posers

2008-06-09T00:58:00.006+08:00

i found this in my mail today...

well, just a lil something to open ur eyes y'all

found ur long-lost relatives??

well, that's what ppl send around but does it make a difference? nahh
girls do poses like that because somehow the guys love it
only those lame guys mind you
the common act-cute poses
pfft
get so sick of 'em
go do something better youse!!!

Laugh ot ppl!!

2008-06-08T17:59:00.003+08:00

if u need a good laugh, just have a look at this vid!!

हस्दे हस्दे सरे!!

cute Kiwi bois

2008-06-07T23:58:00.002+08:00

like mum and dad always say, how long can i hide the fact that i'm flying off to kiwiland soon; a country where u see more sheep than ppl.

that's what everyone tells me. i met this complete stranger at a doctor's clinic in KL and somehow we had a short conversation and she reminded me of that famous quote (or maybe question):

"You're going to a country where you find more sheep than people!!???"

Lucky for me, she didnt end it with saying something like WTF or whatsoever that normal ppl use. =)

so i met this really good looking Kiwi guy. dad set a date for us. hmm... he was really nice and kind and nicer and kinder and not to forget, good looking too. =P

Stop it!!

ait... recently, i realize that i've been realizing all the kiwi ppl. what is going on?
and i feel totally confused. i cant explain why. it's not like i understand why i'm being confused myself. but is it a bad sign??
oh God, you know now's a really good time to show ur existence.

i do believe in God. remember that. free-thinkers DO believe in God!!! get that right =)

Queen's Guide Award photo album

2008-06-03T17:40:00.035+08:00

My Official Queen's Guide Award Photo Album
on my way to Johor
two lorries hit each other
and both overturned
one at each side of each road
it was massive

look very closely
see the man wearing blue
he had his legs all bleeding
he didnt make it to brake on time so i rammed right into the overturned lorry

brochures

just some stuff

free stuff for everyone

Girl Guides feeling a lil lost
the ice has not been broken yet

getting briefing on how to do the opening speech
yea, i can be serious
so dont get surprised

lookie!! we have customers!!!
whee...

girls on duty
dont get it everyday
a rare sight =)

doing my opening speech before the crowd got seated
actually, i was inviting the crowd to come and sit

when i have my face down when on stage, it clearly shows lack of confidence coz i'm the type who's always the centre of attention so standing on stage in front of complete strangers isnt a big deal for me

my very first sin
i damaged the eardrums of many by singing my out of tune 'Sway' by Michael Buble
i've never heard his songs before
i sang karaoke with no practise at all
i kinda forgot how the whole song went (i used Michael's music and sang the Pussycat Dolls way)
and so i just banged it

on stage

a group pic of us Girl Guides from all over Malaysia who performed at City Square, JB while the rest performed at Kota Raya, JB

first picture taken at the formal dinner

testing lighting and photography skills plus, i thought the colour combination was interesting

testing cam and photography skills

testing which cam lighting to use

starters
not interesting at all

all i did was lend them my cam for less than a minute and this is what happens
lesson learnt

testing photography skills and trynna be creative by having the plates at the side of the pic

the fish that was served on our table
i call it the one-eyed-jack

i hereby dedicate this fish to Arul Selvi of Wilayah Persekutuan Kuala Lumpur
love the sticking-out eyeball!

they hired a professional singer but Tengku Puan Pahang rather have the mic all to herself and entertain us herself
how cool can she be

the royalties
i wonder if they had to attend classes for these joget or whatever dance they were dancing

uuhhhh the dancers the dancers!!!
they come somewhere from Warisan Budaya Johor or some sort
look at shim screeching on the microphone

that girl beside me; Pei Pei speaks Cantonese with me
there's not a single word out of her mouth that i understood
lucky for me, i had translators

at this point, i was just wondering what the hell was going on

moi darling girlfriend Elsie and I
she was so damn glad i didnt give up and not bother going and went for my award instead
i had ppl begging me to not be stupid and just go collect my award
i guess they were right
thanks ppl!!

i was the first person to snap a pic with the shim and after this pic, i got the crowd going wild
they were just too shy to approach them celebs and ask for a pic

a peaceful pic with shim and moi darlings without any outsider disturbing and butting in into our pic
aahhh...

i think the shim watches a lil too much Harry Potter

she kinda look like Dumbledore by the way she lifts her hands
and we look like those weird nerdy wizards
just that we look normal while the casts of Harry Potter look way too nerdy
like beyond the nerd-meter

Toh Leng Lui wanted a pic with shim at the back but the shim went missing

a random shot. i was more famous than Britney Spears for abt an hours. the flash of the cameras were blinding
how does she survive all these?

and it was supposed to be a pic with just the celebs, moi girlfriend Elsie and me but moi darling baby granddaughter Xin Mei simply had to butt in
didnt grandma teach u abt manners, Xin Mei baby?

getting their facebook/e-mail addy

Sultan of Johor's wife. the dinner was sponsored by her
the part i was most excited abt during the dinner was abt my interview by TV3
the interviewer said i have a cute face with pretty dimples
and he said my answers to his interview really impressed him
hmm...

Foo, Kirat and Melissa (the only two Punjabi's who made it through), Rasyidah
Johor vs. Perak

group discussion regarding some dumb boring ceramah we attended earlier that day
we were told to take notes during the ceramah but i drew my life in kiwiland instead and passed it around for ppl to look at moi horrible art and slep thru half of the ceramah.
i didnt get a word the whoever who was talking was talking abt

done by melissa tyndall since that's the only thing she's good at

oh oh look. there's a nerd wearing green!!!
dang i dont do these sort of presentations no more since like a long time before i left school

on the Causeway Link to the Chief Minister's residence. the bus was never on time. the earliest it ever arrived was an hour late. i reckon the bus driver should join Guiding to learn some punctuality or learn how to read the needles in his watch rather.
i wonder how it ever went according to schedule to Singapore

the drive in to the Saujana

that's barely 1/4 of where the Chief Minister lives. isnt that just miserable. imagine u not being able to find where ur wife is in ur own house!!

a side view of the mansion. i wasnt allowed near it not by the guards but by my Guiders

that's the main entrance to the mansion behind me

they're Johor's royal band consisting of erm pak ciks. =D

that was how we were but after a while...

...someone came up to our table and told us to be like this

just a buffet dinner made into a feast

Tengku Puan Pahang and 'that Perak girl' as they call me
her mum's english and her two sons are oh so hot
they got me drooling at them til i forgot my own name!

Wilayah Persekutuan KL + Malacca+ Perak + CEO of GGA Malaysia in blue and dad's homie a.k.a. the Johor Chief Minister's wife in red

Toh Leng Lui and I

the girl on the right was voted Ratu Cantik while i got 3rd place in the beauty pageant =)
which was good enough

i didnt know this pic happened. there whole place was way too happening

after many attempts to snap this pic due my dead gay batteries, we finally got it taken

i think this pic should be a rojaked Perakian girl+ Malacce's baba nyonya and some Selangorians

a group pic of Penang, Malacca and Perak

that's the Sultan of Johor's wife herself (in black) doing the joget Johor thingy right in front of me

the professional dancers. they had super thick make up on their faces. way damaging

i dont do no joget so i created my own dance

a huge banner showing the front of the Saujana

Saujana sorta mean the Chief Minister's residence i guess

in the Causeway Link escorted by the police. we were escorted to our every destination may it be long distance or just within a stone's throw. fun ay

us losers all in one dorm. the sotongs got me into a sotong in then end.

them doing their thang

young Brownies greeting the guests. they were more prepared than me

i was like pretty nervous at that time but looking at my mum's face, she was so happy i just couldnt tell her what was going on in my head
see the girl beside me, look at those badges on her sash; there's no way one can ever get those many. each of those badges requires about 5 minor badges and she dont got none.

they were proud ohf me. they just didnt wanna show it too much

mum, me, moi Guider

queuing up for rehearsal

i didnt know what was going on. my name was being called everywhere. it was hard to concentrate at that time

like mother like daughter

Queen Guides of Malaysia class of 2008
the most ever produced
i dare to tell out loud that there are some among us who bought the badges without working for them
sitting from left: Dato' Nik; CEO of GGA Malaysia, Pn. Salbiah; Chief Commisioner of GGA Malaysia, Tengku Puan Pahang; daughter of Sultan Johor and princess of Pahang, Datin Seri Jeanne Abdulla; Malaysia's First Lady, Sultanah Zanariah; Sultanah of Johor, a somebody, the small Sultanah of Johor, another somebody and the Johor Chief Minister's wife a.k.a. moi dad's kampung friend.
forgive the ah pek. he's the official photographer.

part of my award goes to the lady standing elegantly in traditional clothing
behind me is the Sultanah's chair and the place where other royalties sat

this pic is rather gay
but that's me alright
the only Queen Guide from Perak after abt 5 years who made her way up all on her own
who got all the attention even from the Sultanah and Tengku Puan Pahang but sadly not Jeanne Abdullah

the Guiders of Perak who dumped me into hell
and they claimed i sent them to hell instead
so maybe we sent each other to hell to be equal
me; the one and only Queen Guide of Perak class of 2008

mum didnt bother sitting at the table for parents
she rather sit with her darling daughter and her friends
love ya, mum!! <3>

moi darling girlfriend Elsie

she's really gorgeous (Sabahan)
she wanted a pic with me rel badly
guess because i'm 'that Perak girl'
and she even asked for my autograph
move out Britney! i got my popularity in just a few days
and i've got fans too

and all i wanted to do was show how short she was

another Sabahan

a Sabahan Guider

the Guider who has always been there for me

the Sitiawan gang

Singapore from the hotel room's view

-melissa tyndall-

I'm Perak's only Queen Guide after many many years!!

2008-06-03T15:11:00.003+08:00

yeah baby! i'm finally a Queen's Guide. after 4 years of hard work i finally get what i deserve. and yeap, i'm that oh-so-famous Perak girl who created history in every way; may it be bad or good-i dont care coz history has turned its pages with my name printed in it in huge bold font.

i'm P-R-O-U-D! spell it out loud and clear y'all!! melissa's one proud girl!

wanna know how hell's like? why go all into religions and meditating to know. just ask me coz i've been thru hell and i came out alive. yeap, i have.

been thru a lot of bullshit. but at the end of the day, i earned the respect i deserve. i know everyone had their eyes on me. i did not challenge anyone but they thought i was challenging them. so i played along.

it's a whole long story.

i keep it all up in my head. those who understand me most are my parents. without them i wont be where i am. they're stood by me thru thick and thin. i love them loads!!!

charity

2008-04-12T14:49:00.006+08:00

lately, i've been spending a lot of my time with the special kids of manjung district. i've learnt a lot from there and i think i'm a lil more mature now. =)

my first ever home visit. we were driven to a secluded area. i didnt really know where i was. we met this lady. she's only 38 and she has all the health problems i have never heard of. her story was touching. i felt really sad listening to what she had to say.

the first time i met Brenda. i've heard a lot abt all the charity she's been doing throughout Malaysia. she even has an award from the sultan..

David, Brenda's husband, brought some stuff they were gonna sell for charity in their garage sale. and among them were there 6 inches shoes from england. they are pretty old but costly.

i went all the way to bruas to meet this guy named yakoob. he's only 50 but he has loads of health problems. he used to be a heavy smoker and so i talked to him on how to take care of his health. he even lost his left eye. some poison entered his eye. he thought i was doctor. i had to explain to him i wasnt even close to being a doctor.

me interviewing

then we went to Ayer Tawar. we stopped at this tiny lil house. met a pair of twins. they were nice people. nobody wanted to employ them although they had a certificate in radio TV something coz they are disabled. the girl with them is from terrenganu. she came all the way here by bus all alone!

i got really excited seeing her write with only one finger on each hand

this blog's pretty boring but who cares!

the randomness of march

2008-04-11T16:12:00.013+08:00

march was one happening month. many many things happened. so yea, i've compiled it all into a blog...

first.. the month started with me bleeding like from some part of my head. i didnt do anything to myself but i simply was bleeding =)

the second thing that happened was that i took a bus to kl to attend the nz edu fair at impiana hotel and there were only like 8 ppl in the bus and i knew 6 of the 8 ppl. hmm.. they were my seniors in school and all the ppl in the bus were boys. luckily my seniors were there. felt safe ;)

posing in the bus

some donkey who was with me at the fair

trynna be emo

then i was in kelana jaya with my sis. and we went shopping at the curve. my handbag was with my sis coz she kept her stuff in it so i had her to carry it =P after shopping i checked my cam and suddenly saw a pic that gave me a heart attack!! gosh it was scary!!!

this is the picture that caused my heart to leap out of my body. apparently, my dumb ass sis had ransacked my bag and found my cam and so she started posing. (she took more than just this pic)

and then there was this day we had to collect our failing SPM results. gosh, i tried my best to avoid collecting it. i wasnt ready to see the grades i knew i was gonna score. i tried acting sick; tried avoiding mum calling me to wake up; tried pretending like i couldnt get out of bed but i failed. mum knew me way too well and so i failed to fool her. and dad could still joke. he was like quickly pray before you go, ur results might just change and get better. yahh right, dad. lmao but i still prayed really hard before i went. i asked God to gimme the strength to face what i was gonna witness. =P

accepting the fact that i passed was hard. i look like June in this picture

to celebrate our failure, we went out to City Kopitiam and ate. sat in Eric's van. never have i ever sat in a van before so i was pretty excited.

can u see wern di's kelisa and michelle's BMW there? we were on our way to Giant

Eric was so kind to send me home after we realized that we had nothing to do and we didnt know why we were there. Eric stayed at one end of the town while i lived at like the other end and yet he did send me without frowning.

the next day, we went picnicking at Teluk Batik. Eric was supposed to pick me up in his van but sadly his mom was using it so i had to wait for nearly an hour. so evon, wern di, joanne and helen were sent to the thursday market to get some junks and snacks and whatever there was. in the end, mommy dearest decided to send me to evon's house as she was going out to do some stuff. when i reached, de yao and the gang (who got caught in some stupid road block) were already there and so was kah ho in his weird car and evon was already leaving the house. so i hopped into evon's car and we left for teluk batik and on our way, eric had just reached evon's house so we asked him to meet us at Teluk Batik.

weird enough, we couldnt decide whether to go to the lagoon or the beach. i wanted to go to the beach while the childish bois wanted to go to the lagoon. we stopped at the lagoon and they we needed our swim attire but we brought none but we realized no one was wearing their swim suits!! bullshit! and we had top pay to get into a place where ppl there were half my age. it was a family place and no way i was going in there with my friends. so the girls (except cindy who went with her boyfriend) went to the beach and we spotted eric walking to as if he knew where he was supposed to meet us. i wonder how fast did he drive to get there so fast.

we dreaded for ice creams and so we bought an ice cream each and then discussed college and started posing as usual. practically, that's the best we're at. *all the junks the girls bought from the market were eaten by themselves while waiting an hour for all of us to arrive. they said the temptation was too great. pfft!!

wern di's like such a baby. she's the oldest in the group and yet she doesn't know how to lick an ice cream

everyone... this is helen...posing...

look at that face. that's the call that got us all going home after spending only 10 minutes at the beach

i dont know what happened here. eric was having my cam and i told him to snap whatever he felt like

ok, all of us went our separate ways but all to kl the next day or so and here's what happened. we all made our ways to get more info about our future. some went to colleges to enrol, some went to colleges to inquire, but as for me, i went for another edu fair.

Petaling Street at 6am

some models from UCSI. they said everyone can model. yeah right!

of course there were a lot of other stuff like charity and more charity and trips made to ipoh and all the shopping in ipoh and meeting up with old childhood friends in ipoh and some more shopping and loads more of charity and some more trips to kl which i cant remember why i went...

and then later that month, i accompanied dad to PJ as he had some stuff to do and some appointments and so on. so yeah, i had a chance to meet up with my sis and my cousin and his lovely kids. gosh... i'm such a proud aunt. my nephews and nieces are so adorable!!

she's so gorgeous. she should join Miss Universe Baby :)

it's a pity i hadn't the chance to see my 10-month-old niece that day =(

and of course there were other things like Agnes's birthday too!! which i may or may not blog abt =)

picture picture pictures

2008-03-06T01:56:00.003+08:00

Singapore

2008-03-06T01:31:00.002+08:00

yea, this time i went to Singapore and i made sure my feet touched the grounds of Singapore and that i left my gigantic footprint behind unlike the last time i went.

mum, mua sisters and mua left Malaysia on Friday the 22nd of February to Singapore. we went by train because mummy dearest here never sat on a train before so yea, dad says it's her chance to sit on one.

as usual the train was delayed like 2 hrs. and i met my neighbour (well i dont really know who my neighbours are so i only knew they were my neighbour when they called out my name) =)

we reached Singapore like midnight there. felt so bad. had to disturb my aunt. but she was such a sweetheart to be awake waiting for us <3

and we started talking like for hours and then my darling cousin brother walked in the house. gosh he never had just one hair style! and then we talked even more and oh i hate my aunt's fat cat!

the next morning, we woke up at like 8am to get ready for the wedding banquet which was 11am. hahah we needed to apply make up.

life was so fun in Singapore while i was there. we snapped like millions of pictures during the lunch. and cousin CJ was a good photographer. he had this RM4000 camera and was the official photographer. imagine a lawyer being a photographer *hmm...*

after the whole thing ended which was like abt 3.00pm, we weirdos started walkin around Singapore in gowns and dresses and heels. hahah we were like such jerks. but who even cares. all i know is i was having loads of fun. then mua sisters and i brainwashed mummy to stay and not go back so soon.

and managed to do so. we had a short nap in the evening and went to the night safari at 7.30pm. i met many of my dear friends (animals) in the safari and oh many hunks too. well i actually went hunk watching rather than animal watching. i mean, the guys there caught my attention more than the animals did. even during the animal show, i was like looking at the guys and not the animals. and in the tram ride, i was looking at the guys in the tram and not the surrounding. lmao..

there were many sarcastic annoying men too who looked down upon us asians just because we have yellow skin. go back to ur country. nobody wants u here! duhh and i purposely annoyed him even more lol

we reached home (aunt's apartment) at like past 2am and my cousin Melvin was in his pyjama and he was like "damn i thought u ladies were eaten by the lions or something". hahah his hair was so messy and he was yawning.

well that's abt our stay in Singapore. we left the next morning at 7am.. =(